


Tempest

by viceroyvonmutini



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, F/F, Swearing, band au, general band hijinks, probably some illegal acts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-03-17 10:46:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3526388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viceroyvonmutini/pseuds/viceroyvonmutini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Music is easy: the people that play it are hard.<br/>Clarke Griffin is a reluctant pre-med with some serious talent. Drain Down are kind of a big deal in the music world and looking for a new member. Throw in an overprotective record company, an unhealthy amount of drinking and possibly a few punch-ups, and Clarke might have just found home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lights, Camera, Action

**Author's Note:**

> This has been brewing for a while now, but the Band AU fanart inspired me to actually write something. 
> 
> It helps perhaps if you imagine Halestorm crossed with Haim crossed with a little bit of FATM. 
> 
> I have no Beta, so all mistakes are mine. Excuse my ongoing battle with commas.

The heavy downpour pelted the bus as it slowly navigated narrow New York streets. It was dark out, the artificial streetlights illuminating the faces of the passengers every once in a while.

‘How much further?’

‘Not long’ chimed back the driver as he maneuvered a particularly tight turn.

It was uncharacteristically quiet between the group of friends in a bus often filled with activity: their attentions focused on the windows, eyes following the familiar city as if they had never seen it before.

The bus slowed to a crawl before it was gently parked outside of an old brick apartment building.

‘We’re here.’

The group made to move out, gathering belongings and filing out of the vehicle into the downpour, hands clutching laptops, backpacks and instruments as the driver went to unlock the door.

‘Feels weird.’

‘I know right? Still: hasn’t changed a bit.’

‘Somehow not surprising.’

Seemingly unbothered by the rain they made their way up into the building, closing the door behind them and setting down their luggage at the base of the dark staircase leading up.

‘Holy shit we have a lot of mail.’

‘Can we deal with that in the morning Jasper? I’m exhausted and I kinda want a really long hot bath.’

‘Amen to that.’

Jasper stood up from his position over the mountain of letters resting on the floor, shrugging at the two girls who had spoken before addressing the driver.

‘Hey Monty, wanna share again?’

‘Hell yes: we got dibs on third floor.’

‘Hey no way that’s the biggest apartment. You two get the first floor: Octavia and I are getting that one.’

‘Bell if you think I’m sharing with you you’re dead wrong: I’ve had to spend the last year cooped up in tour busses and hotel rooms with you there’s no way I’m sharing. I’ll take one on the second floor.’

‘I’m with that. I’ll take the other second floor one: neighbours for life O.’

Bellamy glared at Octavia but the effect waned slightly considering she was already making her way upstairs with Raven at her side, the two barely containing their excitement at the thought of their first bath in two months.

‘Fine. I’ll take the top floor.’

Sighing in defeat, Bellamy made his way to the stairs before glancing back.

‘Lexa you okay with that?’

‘Go for it,’ the girl replied, not in the least bit interested which apartment she got though her spirits lifted at the thought of the open plan space the third floor offered her.

As Bellamy climbed up the stairs satisfied with the answer Lexa remained where she stood, taking in the familiar surroundings mixing with the somewhat unfamiliar smell of damp: a reminder of their absence.

She would deal with that tomorrow just as she would tackle the mail and the bills and food and the record label that wouldn’t get off their backs but for now, she wanted to appreciate New York.

They were home and for one night, that’s all that mattered. 

 

* * *

 

The clock had barely turned 11:03 when there was a knock at Lexa’s door. Sighing she removed herself from underneath her laptop, placing it on the other end of the couch before padding towards the door and swinging it open. She waited for her visitors to speak.

‘Morning.’

Lexa waited.

‘Do you have any Fruit Loops?’

She stepped aside, inviting Octavia and Raven into her apartment as they wandered in still half asleep, swamped in hoodies far to big for them in an attempt to shelter themselves from the elements.

They slid over the wooden floor to the kitchen space as Lexa pulled out the cereal from a cupboard and pushed it over to them before handing them a couple of bowls.

‘Thanks.’

She passed them the milk and watched as the two dug in.

‘Coffee?’ questioned Raven as she scooped up the colourful dregs of starch.

‘What is this: a hotel?’

‘You’re the only one who would’ve gone shopping Lex come on.’

She raised an eyebrow but said nothing as she started making coffee for the three of them.

They migrated to the couch, Raven flicking through the TV as they sipped their drinks.

‘So what’re we gonna do?’ asked Octavia huddling close to her warm mug.

‘I don’t know. Probably have to find someone new.’

‘It’s not like bassists grow on trees Lexa and we need to find someone good who knows their stuff.’

‘I know.’

‘Finn may have been an asshole but he was fucking good.’

‘Before he fucked us over for good.’

‘And me.’

‘He was a douchebag Raven and you deserved way better.’

‘Yeah well I didn’t think that at the time. If I ever see him again I’ll shove a fucking drum stick right where you don’t want one I swear to God.’

‘You better not be sticking my drum sticks anywhere inappropriate Raven that’s seriously not okay’ called Bellamy as he let himself into the apartment, Monty and Jasper tailing behind.

‘Oh sure yeah come on in that’s fine.’

‘Thanks Lex, I know you love us’ teased Monty as he grabbed a fistful of Fruit Loops and jumped onto the couch.

‘So why are we sticking drum sticks up people’s backsides?’

‘Finn’s backside’ clarified Octavia.

‘Oh yeah he definitely deserves it: can I join?’

‘Totally.’

‘Not with my sticks Jesus.’

‘You’re no fun Bell seriously.’

‘I have to play with those!’

‘Nobody is sticking drumsticks anywhere okay?’

Octavia pouted but said nothing.

‘Speaking of Finn, what are we going to do about replacing him Lexa?’

‘Don’t ask me. Octavia, you know anyone?’

‘Not really: like I said, bassists don’t just grow on trees.’

A phone vibrated and Lexa rose to pick it up from her bedroom.

‘Shit.’

She padded back through, the group awaiting explanation.

‘Kane wants us in the office in an hour.’

Octavia audibly groaned, burrowing into Raven’s arm in an attempt to hide.

‘Alright let’s go. Monty and Jasper, come up with a way to find us a bassist; Raven, help them.’

‘Aye aye Captain’

‘And everyone get out of my apartment.’ 

 

* * *

 

‘Okay so Jasper had this idea-‘

‘Well it was Monty really-‘

‘Nope I think you’ll find it was mine boys.’

‘Right. Yeah Raven’s idea. Anyway so we thought about it and-‘

‘We were like ‘where do bassists grow?’ because you’d said earlier ‘oh bassists don’t grow on trees’ so we thought well where do they grow?’

‘And so we put out an ad and we’ve been getting calls all morning for people to audition and so-‘

‘Basically starting tomorrow we have about 60 people auditioning like all day.’

Bellamy, Octavia and Lexa sat in Monty’s apartment listening to their self-confessed exciting news though struggling to exactly follow what had transpired.

‘Hold up. What ad and where?’

Raven took the helm.

‘Okay Octavia you remember this girl we knew in first year at NYU? Blonde, medium height?’

‘Um…no?’

‘Well I knew her. Can’t remember her name but she definitely played bass and so it got me thinking: NYU is bound to have loads of musicians and there’s got to be someone there who can play for us!’

‘So you put an ad around campus?’

‘Yeah. We booked around 60 people for auditions tomorrow and also managed to get The Warehouse booked all day so we can try them out, jam along with them and see whether they fit.’

‘Sounds like a plan. When do they start tomorrow?’ asked Bellamy

‘Uh…9am?’

‘9am? Are you fucking joking? Fuck.’

‘Sorry O. it was the only way we could fit everyone in. We’re kinda famous you know and everyone wanted to try out.’

‘I’m just having images of really gross teenagers who can’t play for shit at 9am grating my eardrums.’

‘We filtered as best we could,’ supplied Jasper, ‘checked out that they could play at least. But yeah, there are bound to be some bad ones.’

‘I’ll call Kane,’ declared Lexa standing up and heading for the door. ‘He’s been on our backs for two days now.’

Not waiting for a response she left the group and headed upstairs.

‘Bye Lexa’ waved Jasper; Bellamy shrugged.

 

* * *

 

Boots hit the slush that littered the wet sidewalk as Clarke Griffin sipped on her coffee, letting the steam warm her face as she pulled her scarf a little tighter. Her long time friend Wells Jaha jogged to her side, pulling his backpack safely onto one shoulder.

‘How was Trig?’

‘Boring as usual: I still don’t get why they make us do it.’

‘You’re working with computers Wells. Computers, math: it’s all linked.’

‘Sure, you’re just saying that because you don’t have to do it.’

‘Nope. Instead I get ridiculous Chem modules that make me cry just a little inside.’

‘You got that right.’

The two wandered into a nearby campus building, shaking off the cold and grabbing a couple of seats in the lobby.

‘Damn it’s cold.’

‘I kind of like it: it’s sort of beautiful in a way.’

‘Yeah brown sludge. Stunning Clarke.’

‘You just don’t appreciate it: I got some great sketches the other day of the snow falling and it was sort of magical. I get why people like it.’

‘Whatever you say Clarke. You spoken to your mother yet?’

‘No,’ disbelief lining her voice, ‘she doesn’t even know I play music let alone that I’m minoring in art.’

‘She’ll find out eventually you know.’

‘Yes I know I know just…not yet okay? Soon.’

‘Sure. Well let me know how that goes…’

‘Thanks, your support really means a lot Wells.’

‘You love me.’

‘You wish.’

The two grinned at each other whilst Wells fished out his laptop.

‘Oh did you apply for the audition thing that I told you about?’

‘Yeah…I’m so not ready though I have no idea what to expect.’

‘Just go in there and do what you do Clarke: you’re amazing and you’ll be fine. Just don’t forget me when you become part of this world-famous band.’

‘That’s never going to happen there are thousands out there better than me.’

‘So then why are you even going?’

‘I don’t know…just to check it out I guess. If it’s a shot to get out of here then why not take it?’

‘And not just because you wanna meet them?’

‘Okay… yeah that too.’

‘I can’t believe the bassist left though, it seems so random.’

‘Yeah though I never really liked his technique you know?’

‘Are you…criticizing a world famous band?’

‘No no I mean a little: I just mean they’re so easy to play like wow sure another root note that’s original.’

Wells laughed as Clarke defended herself looking sheepish.

‘I’m not saying I’ll be any better-‘

‘But you will be. You’ll nail it. Just go along tomorrow and play like I’ve seen you play: passion and skill.’

‘Thanks Wells. Yeah, I’ll try. If I don’t die of embarrassment first.’

‘You’ll be fine.’

‘Yeah. It’s fine. It’s only Drain Down. No big deal.’

‘Seriously Clarke: you’ll be fine. I’m promise.’

‘Right.’

 

* * *

 

‘Please no more Jasper. I can’t. This is like some form of fucking torture’ moaned Octavia hanging off her microphone in despair, guitar swinging low.

Her band mates were not fairing any better: Bellamy sat frowning over his drum kit whilst Lexa looked a slightly more intense portrayal of her usual distaste.

‘Sorry O. we’ve got two more and then it’s over I swear.’

‘Can’t you make us drinks?’

‘I’ll get them ready for the end of the auditions.’

‘Now Jasper.’

‘No O. not till the end of the tryouts: at least be sober for them.’

Octavia pouted but said nothing more on the matter.

They stood on the small dimly lit stage, Raven lounging at one of the tables beneath it whilst Monty and Jasper frantically juggled papers behind the bar. The Warehouse was a small but popular bar they had once frequented often and it had given them some of their best first shows. The owner had handed it over for the day as they struggled to find a bassist to fit with the group, a challenge greater than anticipated.

‘I thought they just plucked some strings how hard can this be?’

‘Lexa says they’re not right O. and Lexa’s usually right about these things.’

Lexa looked up from the light melody she was picking out on her guitar registering her name but made no move further to contribute, returning her attention to her instrument.

‘I know but Lexa will say that about everyone. She’s impossible to please: we have to lower the bar Bell.’

‘’Lexa’ is right over here’ she called though still not giving them full attention.

‘If we don’t find anyone today it’s not the end of the world: we’ve still got the Internet and worst comes to worst, Kane can find us someone.’

‘No.’

‘Lexa we might not have a choice’ pointed out Raven, eating olives.

‘It won’t come to that.’

‘You hope.’

‘Okay I’m gonna call in the next person in guys’ called Monty, heading out the swinging doors.

‘Please Jesus let this one be okay at least. He doesn’t have to be The One but at least decent. Please.’

‘She, actually’ interrupted a voice.

Octavia snapped her head up to its source, eyes widening slightly as she swiftly untangled herself from her microphone stand and straightened up.

A blonde haired girl stood holding a bass case almost as tall as herself in front of her body, hiding behind it slightly.

‘Um, hey. Sorry.’

She gave a little wave, awkward and timid as if she wasn’t entirely sure she was meant to be here and Octavia chuckled slightly.

‘No: my bad. Okay, so what’s your name? You wanna get your stuff out and hook it up to the amp?’

‘Sure.’

She began unpacking her bass, leaning the case against the bar before heading up to the stage eying her surroundings carefully. Octavia and Raven shared a look not entirely sure what to make of her: the timid appearance and the pastel coloured outfit didn’t exactly give off the right vibes.

Lexa watched.

Bellamy stood up to help her find a cord and plug in.

‘Thanks. I’m Clarke? Clarke Griffin.’

‘Okay Clarke Griffin, can you play?’ asked Raven, feet up on the table still spearing olives with a cocktail stick.

‘Uh, yeah.’

‘Do you know any of our songs?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Alright come stand over here.’

Octavia pointed to the space on her right and Clarke shuffled forward, though she hung back to the shadows of the stage not quite standing in line with Octavia.

‘Do you know ‘ _Amen’_?’

Clarke nodded in the affirmative, fingers sliding up and down the frets of her instrument as her right hand plucked absent-mindedly, occasionally twisting dials as she fine-tuned her sound.

‘You good?’

Clarke nodded, looking back up at the lead singer with a small smile. Octavia turned and nodded slightly to Lexa, who had long ago diverted attention back to her guitar, strumming softly.

At the signal she began a shrill riff as Bellamy joined in and Octavia focused on nailing her power chords. Clarke didn’t really have to think much: the music was fast but deceptively simple if you knew what to do and she soon found her rhythm with the group, using Bellamy as a cue and following Lexa’s capable lead.

And Clarke felt a space develop: the group were accommodating, something she was unused to and she found herself getting lost in what she was playing. Even Lexa, seemingly so intent on her own playing was aware of everything, always being precisely where her band needed her to be in the music and a giving player.

For someone she had seen for barely two minutes Clarke felt like they were in sync as the rhythm bounced off the melody, Bellamy keeping careful control as Octavia punctuated his beat, working in tandem.

It was over too soon, the last distorted note ringing out in the hollow space as Octavia’s heavy breaths settled. Lexa’s gaze was fixed to Clarke who was oblivious to that fact gazing out over the empty bar as Jasper and Monty grinned likes idiots.

Raven clapped.

‘Well that was awesome as hell: well done Clarke,’ she praised, catching Bellamy’s eye as he smiled. She spun her gaze to Lexa who remained fixated on the blonde girl, studying her with a unique intensity.

Clarke followed Raven’s gaze, meeting Lexa’s eyes and staring back. It was intimidating: disconcerting to be studied and deconstructed in someone’s gaze but she wasn’t about to back down now.

Lexa broke eye contact first, giving a sharp nod to Raven who grinned in response.

Clarke looked a little lost.

‘Alright Griffin: well done. You’ve moved on to Stage 2 of the challenge!’

‘Stage 2?’

‘Jamming: we want to see your improv skills. Don’t worry about it. I’m going to start a beat on the drums, Lexa will hash out a riff and you just join in whenever you feel comfortable.’

Clarke nodded, shifting her bass slightly on her shoulder in nervousness as Octavia pulled off her guitar and leapt from the stage, sitting beside Raven and stealing an olive.

‘You ready Lex?’

She nodded and watched as Bellamy started a simple beat before fixing her attention to her fret board, fingers playing near the top as she worked on a jazz infected riff that Clarke found herself enjoying. She watched Lexa’s fingers work smoothly, occasionally hitting a wrong note until she settled on a tune.

Clarke turned her attention to her own instrument, hitting a few experimental chord progressions before settling further down on her fret board, contrasting the lower tone of Lexa’s powerful, simple melody.

A bit of trial and error and soon the trio had worked something out: something solid as Lexa began experimenting a little further afield as the music built. Clarke found herself following effortlessly, feeling the music resonate as she moved in time with it.

She glanced up at the other two. Bellamy grinned and she offered a hesitant smile back before fixating on Lexa, whose gaze had rarely left Clarke. She nodded slightly eyes filled with fire and Clarke took that as a smile, grin exploding on her face as she focused back on her playing. She was enjoying herself in the moment: she hadn’t played like this in a long time.

Bellamy slowed the rhythm back down again and it naturally petered out, leaving two grinning musicians and one slightly happier musician on stage as Octavia and Raven gave a polite clap.

‘Okay Clarke.’

Octavia shared a short glance with those around her. All seemed fairly satisfied, all grinning with the exception of Lexa who now spoke:

‘Welcome to the band Clarke Griffin.’

‘Seriously?’

She looked towards Bellamy for confirmation and he grinned in response. She let her gaze drift to Lexa who graced her with an affirmative nod.

‘Um…seriously?’

‘Yeah! If Lexa approves then we all bow down and follow’ joked Jasper, who was making his way to the stage as Monty went to send the waiting applicant home.

‘He’s kidding, but we all loved your playing and we’ve had a really long day and you’re the best we’ve heard. I mean you’ve got some skill Griffin.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Okay so, formal introductions: I’m Octavia Blake, lead singer, rhythm guitar extraordinaire and the one who started this thing. On the drums is my brother, Bellamy, and Lexa Trigadakru over there is our lead guitar and the musical mastermind behind all this,’ Octavia indicated her head to the right, ‘next to me is our band tech and occasional keyboardist Raven Reyes-she’ll take care of your stuff like nobodies business- and Jasper and Monty are in charge of merch, publicity and bus driving.’

‘Uh…right: nice to meet you all.’

Clarke grinned at them all barely able to contain her disbelief or the feeling that this maybe wasn’t happening because things like this just didn’t happen to her.

‘Okay okay introductions over: let’s make this official.’

Raven brought her feet down from the table as the others pulled over chairs and dragged another table to where they sat.

‘Monty, _now_ can I have a drink?’

‘Boilermaker?’

‘Just bring over the whiskey and shot glasses.’

Clarke’s eyebrows shot up and Raven grinned teasingly.

‘What Griffin? Not a drinker?’

‘No no, I just planned to be able to walk home’ she shot back not missing a beat, to which Raven laughed.

‘It’s been a long day Griffin trust me; I swear to god if one more hormonal teenage boy came through those doors attempting to hit on me I would’ve fucking punched him.’

‘Well we can’t all have your stunning good looks O.’

‘She speaks truth!’

Monty set down the shot glasses between them, pouring a generous measure of Jack Daniels in each glass.

‘I’m sorry there’s not anything better but hey, all the best nights start on Jack.’

‘Or the nights you don’t want to remember,’ muttered Clarke, earning her a grin from Octavia.

The group reached for their glasses.

‘Alright, here’s to our new member Clarke Griffin who despite wearing an astonishing amount of knitwear and pastel this fine day surprised us all with her kickass riffs. Even Lexa. And for that, she deserves a drink. Fuck yes!’

They all raised their shot glasses to their lips.

‘DRAIN DOWN BITCHES!’

Clarke barely even noticed the burn of the whiskey, smiling at the small rag tag group of people that had welcomed her into the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For general interest:
> 
> Clarke's Bass: http://intl.fender.com/en-GB/basses/precision-bass/vintage-modified-precision-bass-pj-rosewood-fingerboard-lake-placid-blue/
> 
> Lexa's Guitar: http://www2.gibson.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/2015/SG-Standard.aspx
> 
> Octavia's Guitar: http://www2.gibson.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/2015/Les-Paul-Studio.aspx


	2. The Cold Is Great I Love It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am British and therefore do not understand American cities or how they work.

A few days later and the sun was struggling through layers of dense cloud as Clarke pulled her coat closer, fighting to get to the café in one piece. She kept her head down against the brutal wind as it buffeted her face, and she wondered why she was even out of bed.

Jasper had texted her that they were meeting to discuss practice and song writing sessions at 2 today, so she had reluctantly rolled out of bed destined to leave her Netflix marathon and bundled up as best she could to brace the cold.

She was still freezing.

Not looking where she was going she only had time to glance up briefly before barreling head first into something solid.

‘Oh my God I’m so-’ she looked up, ‘-Raven! Hi. Sorry. Sorry about that.’

Raven laughed, the group behind her joining in as Clarke turned a deeper shade of pink than allowed for the cold. Lexa raised an eyebrow, hiding a smirk.

‘Morning to you too Griffin: come on let’s get the hell inside, this place does the most amazing almond lattes you’ll die.’

Armed with caffeine of varying forms they settled in a nearby armchair cluster, shedding their outer layers.

‘Man I needed this. Double shot mocha: this is the life.’

‘Doesn’t take much does it O.?’

‘Nope.’

‘Kane has said we’re playing in about two weeks from now so we need to get Clarke up to scratch.’

‘Right yes, thank you Lexa. Business.’

‘Who’s Kane?’ queried Clarke, addressing Lexa who regarded her over her mug.

‘One of our managers: he does the dirty work.’

‘Yeah, Dante likes to remain the ‘good guy’ in proceedings’ interjected Monty.

‘You don’t like him?’

‘No.’

Clarke nodded in understanding. She imagined Lexa was a good judge of character and from the finality in her tone she had a lot of anger directed at those men.

‘Mmmm Marcus Kane, otherwise known as the bane of our existence.’

‘Truth.’

‘Anyway, Lexa’s right. So Clarke, what’s your schedule like?’

‘I mean, I don’t have a lot of time during the day? I have Tuesday afternoon’s off, the weekends and most evenings? Although I’m willing to ditch some classes: I figure I should commit right?’

‘Well that’d be great if you could: we were offering a permanent position if you wanted to take it but for now I think we can work with that? Lexa?’

‘Tuesday afternoons works for us but we might need you for longer periods of time Clarke.’

‘Okay well I’m kind of only interested in really keeping my art modules which frees up a lot of my time if I cut the pre-med-‘

‘Whoa you’re pre-med?’ interrupted Monty

‘Yeah. Reluctantly.’

‘Dude you must be as smart as Lexa at least.’

‘Um…no no, I’m sure you’re all smart!’

‘He’s messing with you. Lexa was pre-law minoring in business before she joined us.’

Clarke looked at Lexa who chose not to acknowledge her former degree choices.

‘Wow. Okay, well no I’m only minoring in art so nothing as impressive but I’d like to keep it for as long as possible.’

‘When does that leave you free?’

‘Anytime except…Wednesday afternoons, Friday mornings and Tuesday mornings. Does that work better?’

Lexa nodded.

‘Yes. That way we can include you in the song writing process more and hopefully manage a few smaller gigs under the radar when we can.’

‘Under the radar?’

‘Kane doesn’t like us playing smaller venues for free or cheaper priced tickets’ supplied Raven.

‘Yeah but we don’t really give a shit and we started out here. We have a lot of loyal fans and venues that helped us out in the start so we like to play when we come back sometimes.’

‘It was Lexa’s idea to be honest, but we all loved it.’

Clarke glanced at Lexa whose attention remained on the table in front of her. Clarke couldn’t quite work the woman out: there was something unique about the quiet guitarist who moved more often than she spoke and when she did speak it was often laced with an edge. She seemed to hate the world, to face it with a glare and yet cared about something as trivial as nostalgia. Cared about the group around her.

Clarke decided to let it lie.

‘Okay then. When were you guys thinking of playing next?’

‘Jasper got us a slot this weekend at DropShip. Do you know it?’

‘I’ve been there a few times.’

‘That’s five days from now. How much of our stuff do you know?’

Clarke eyed Lexa anxiously somehow trying to hide behind her comparatively small mug of coffee in embarrassment.

‘Uh…quite a bit? I sort of started playing music because of you guys. Taught myself a load of your songs. Covers and stuff. God this is awkward.’

Bellamy and Raven laughed though thankfully not in mockery, dispelling Clarke’s tension.

‘It’s flattering, honestly! Besides, our music clearly made you a damn good player so we’re not complaining.’

‘Yeah it actually makes this somewhat easier to be honest. We haven’t planned the setlist yet but we’ll put what you know best to make things easier. It’s about an hour and a half so a good number of songs.’

Lexa spoke up.

‘Any free time you have this week will need to be spent with us.’

‘Absolutely, I’m happy to come along whenever although I was thinking it might be good to have a few one-on-one sessions with you, and maybe Octavia?’

Lexa raised a questioning eyebrow and Clarke went on in haste.

‘I mean, just so I can get the hang of timings and things and any room for um…’

Clarke didn’t continue, not particularly wanting to outright insult her predecessor only the faces watching her were laced with mirth, Octavia outright grinning.

‘Improvisation, right Clarke?’ she supplied.

‘Right. Yeah. Sorry, I don’t want to-‘

‘It’s fine honestly. He’s gone and you’re here and we’re really interested to see what you’ll bring to this. We liked you for a reason Clarke: you’re good.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Now I’m pretty sure Lex can spare a bit of her time for you if you need it and I certainly can, but for now lets schedule our first jamming sessions for say…1pm tomorrow? Or even tonight, although it is Monday so I understand if you can’t.’

‘No no I can do tonight.’

So much for her relaxing evening in watching The Good Wife, and she was going to have to cancel on Wells.

‘What time were you thinking?’

‘Like 7ish? We’re gonna need to grab food and things, as well as set up the equipment.’

‘Okay that sounds good; do you need me to bring an amp or anything?’

‘Nah Lexa has like 7 spare ones ‘just in case’ so I’m pretty sure she can fix you up with something.’

Lexa nodded.

‘Awesome: can’t wait to see you play for real Griffin.’

‘You’ve already seen it Bellamy.’

‘Nah that was just practice, you were just warming up. And when you and Lexa get in sync you two are gonna be unstoppable.’

Clarke glanced over at Lexa who didn’t acknowledge the praise, staring at one particular point on the coffee table.

‘I hope so.’

‘Oh shush Griffin,’ waved Raven who had just returned with a large blueberry muffin she was now wholeheartedly shoving into her mouth, ‘I loved you and really I’m the only one who matters.’

‘I’ll be sure to remember that: always please the band tech. Gottit.’

‘I look after your shit Griffin, watch it.’

‘You wouldn’t’

‘Oh she has!’

Monty grinned at Clarke, who snapped her head to look at him.

‘What the hell did she do?’

‘Monty don’t you dare.’

‘Uh…’

‘Monty I swear to God I will rewire the fucking bus so that it never runs again.’

‘You wouldn’t’

‘Would.’

‘Wouldn’t’

Raven and Monty glared at each other, daring one another to back down. Lexa focused her attention to Clarke and addressed her.

‘Do you need the address?’ she asked, voice low but startling Clarke who had been watching the fight.

‘Um…yeah. Please.’

‘Hand me your phone: I’ll give you my number and text you the address.’

Clarke did as asked whilst Lexa pulled out her own phone.

‘Is your number in your contacts?’

‘Yeah, I forget it a lot so…’

Lexa nodded, fingers working swiftly on the screens as she typed the requisite things. Clarke watched her work.

‘Here.’

A phone was pushed back in her direction and Clarke took it gently.

‘Thanks.’

Lexa nodded again. Clarke’s attention drifted to the rest of the group, absentmindedly following their playful discussions smiling softly to herself. Lexa’s piercing gaze found itself upon Clarke, studying the girl’s profile.

If Clarke noticed, she didn’t show it.

An easy hour later and the group were slowly leaving the coffee shop in high spirits.

‘Oh my God it’s so cold!’ moaned Octavia, burying herself into her brother’s torso.

‘Winter, Octavia’ supplied Bellamy.

‘I hate it.’

‘Why?’

Octavia pulled her head out of her brother’s jacket, turning it to face Clarke.

‘Because it’s _cold_ and _gross_ and generally _miserable_ ’

‘But it’s really beautiful.’

‘Yeah but it’s still _cold_ ’

‘But how can you not like the way the snow falls, especially in the morning, settling in the morning sun the pristine white. Or the ice on the water reflecting the light and the way your breathe mists.’

‘Yeah I can pretend I’m a dragon.’

Monty and Jasper began breathing heavily and Clarke watched as their air became solid.

‘See? Isn’t it nice?’

‘But Clarke you’re missing the point: it’s _cold._ ’

Clarke laughed.

‘Besides, you really think I’m up early enough to see the ‘morning snow’ you speak of? What even is sunrise?’

‘The day Octavia wakes up before sunrise will be the day pigs fly,’ muttered Lexa, hands shoved firmly in her pockets against the harsh wind earning her more laughter from Clarke as their eyes met, her own filled with subtle mirth.

‘We’re not all you Lex.’

‘No, you’re certainly not.’

‘Well you and Clarke can go frolic in the snow whilst I stay firmly in bed.’

Clarke glanced over at Lexa, trying to imagine her dancing amongst snowdrift. The image caused her to crack a smile and Lexa looked at her with questioning eyes. Clarke grinned and shook her head.

‘Okay I’ll see you all later?’

‘Yeah. Do you have the address to the apartments?’

‘Lexa gave it to me earlier.’

‘Brilliant. Call us if you get lost but we’ll see you at 7 Griffin.’

Clarke turned and walked away, a chorus of goodbyes following her exit. She bowed her head against the cold and headed back to her apartment filled with energy.

 

* * *

 

The door chimed as it shut and once again Clarke found herself unprepared for the wave of cold that hit her.

She shivered slightly, tugging her bass further onto her shoulder as one hand clutched a newly warmed burrito. Taking a bite she moved forward trying as much as possible to shield herself and her food from the biting cold.

Admittedly she was lost.

Like, really lost.

She’d seen a small deli and grabbed some food because she was hungry and well…lost.

She wasn’t entirely sure how long she would be lost for.

She was certain she knew where she was going but somewhere around getting off at the wrong subway stop and buying a burrito she had somehow lost her way.

In the cold.

And the dark.

Why?

Why her?

Clarke trudged forward shoveling the burrito in as quickly as possible to give herself a free hand. Chucking the paper wrapping into the bin she fumbled around in her pocket before pulling out her phone. She pulled her glove off with her teeth, glove hanging form her mouth as she flicked through her phone contacts and brought up Lexa’s number.

Here she stopped.

Was she really desperate enough to call Lexa? She wasn’t that lost.

She was already running late.

Fuck.

To call or not to call: she wished she’d got Jasper’s number, or Bellamy’s even. At least then maybe they’d just laugh it off.

Lexa was scary.

Not scary just…intimidating. And smart. And impressive. And in control. And this would never happen to her.

Clarke’s teeth chewed on her glove as she tried to make a decision walking slowly through a street she didn’t quite recognize.

She could use Google Maps but then it was about as reliable as she was so she didn’t fancy taking her chances. Calling a cab might do it, but it was expensive and she was the definition of broke. Wandering around the area didn’t seem particularly appealing and would probably make her later than she already was.

Or she could call Lexa.

It wasn’t even that much of a big deal: she had her number so she should use it and just deal with the judgment.

Great.

She sighed before coming to a stop, walking over to the corner of a building before dialing the number.

Her fingers tapped the back of her phone as it rang.

_‘Clarke?’_

Clarke swiftly pulled the glove from her mouth.

‘Hey…Lexa?’

_‘Yes.’_

‘Hi.’

The line went silent.

‘Uh...you still there?’

‘ _Yes Clarke. What do you need?’_

‘I’m sort of…lost.’

_‘Where are you?’_

‘I’m lost Lexa, I don’t know.’

_‘Nearest street Clarke.’_

‘Uh...5th Avenue I think?’

_‘Street, Clarke.’_

‘I don’t know I can’t see a sign nearby Lexa.’

The line went silent again and Clarke somewhat regretted her harsh tone.

‘Lexa?’

_‘Can you see a pizza joint?’_

‘Yeah, like across the street.’

_‘What’s it called?’_

‘Um…it’s just a Dominoes.’

_‘I’ll be there in 10 minutes. Don’t move.’_

Lexa hung up.

‘Great I’ll just…stand here then. In the cold.’

Clarke kept ahold of her phone despite the cold nipping at her hand. She still had no idea how Lexa was going to find her but she settled back against the wall, taking her instrument off her back and relaxing as best she could. It was only 10 minutes. She could do this.

It wasn’t like it was cold or anything.

She shouldn’t be complaining: at least Lexa was offering to come and find her. But she was cold and miserable. Her good mood had all but evaporated and now she just wanted to go to bed, but here she was standing on a street corner in the cold and the rain.

She willed Lexa to come quicker.

Her phone shook in her hand and she checked the screen.

‘Dominoes.’

Clarke frowned.

‘Just try and be more blunt. I dare you’ she muttered, picking up her bass and heading over to the store.

Lexa stood outside the glass door scarf wrapped tight around her neck hands tucked firmly into her black jacket.

‘Hey.’

Lexa raised her head to look at Clarke, scanning her up and down.

‘Clarke.’

She headed into the pizza store not checking if Clarke was following.

‘Thanks for finding me.’

‘Don’t mention it.’

‘How did you know where I was?’

‘Dominoes. We called to order and got them to tell them where the store was nearby. You’re about 5 minutes off.’

‘Wait you’re actually here for pizza?’

‘We got you one too.’

Lexa went to collect the order leaving Clarke to bristle.

‘Ready to go?’

‘Yeah.’

The two left the store, Lexa leading the way to the apartment.

‘Sorry.’

Clarke turned to Lexa whose attention remained in front of her.

‘Why?’

‘I should’ve made sure you knew where you were going.’

‘No no it’s fine. I was stupid I should’ve checked really. Or left earlier.’

Lexa nodded and said nothing more on the matter.

Soon they were climbing up the small stone steps to the apartment building.

‘Hold these.’

Lexa shoved the pizzas into Clarke’s outstretched hands and unlocked the door, stepping inside and shaking herself off.

Clarke followed suit as Lexa took the pizzas and lead the way to a small staircase at the back of the foyer. Clarke followed, taking in the old building.

‘Whoa. Do you own this whole thing?’

‘We bought it after our first album and renovated it. There’s enough apartments for all of us and the basement provided space to store all our gear and a practice space.’

They began the descent.

‘Why don’t you use the elevator?’

‘It’s old.’

‘Yeah old as balls!’ called Octavia’s voice, meeting them at the bottom of the stairs.

‘Raven won’t fix it though because she says its ‘antique’ and ‘she’s not worthy’. Did you get the pizza?’

‘Yes Octavia.’

‘Don’t mind me, I was just lost and cold. I’m fine.’

‘You like the cold remember?’

‘Shut up.’

The three wandered through into a wide concrete room lined with guitars, amps, chords, drums and recording equipment in a seemingly random design. There was a small recording booth and a wooden stage on which a drum kit and several mics and amps were set up. In one corner sat the rest of the group on plush couches.

‘Holy shit this is amazing.’

‘Right? Raven spent so long on this place you have no idea.’

‘I keep trying to get her to build a bar and snooker table but she wont’ moaned Bellamy.

Raven punched him in the arm.

‘This place is perfect and don’t you forget it.’

Clarke set down her bass next to an empty guitar rack, which she presumed had once belonged to her predecessor. She walked around the room, stopping at the large collection of guitars, fingers lightly brushing the lacquered wood.

‘These are amazing.’

‘Lexa’s’ waved off Raven, already opening the various pizza boxes and taking a slice.

Clarke turned to Lexa who was watching her closely. Clarke stepped away from the rack pulling her hand away.

‘Sorry.’

Lexa turned away and shrugged.

‘It’s fine.’

Clarke walked over and sat down, Jasper handing her a slice of pepperoni.

‘Thanks.’

‘So how was the journey?’

‘Cold. Totally got lost. Thank God I had Lexa’s number though.’

‘You have Lexa’s number?’

‘Uh yeah, when I gave her mine?’

Raven raised an eyebrow at Lexa who didn’t even bother looking up from her peppered pizza slice.

Clarke looked confused and Octavia waved her off.

‘Give me your phone C!’ demanded Jasper, his hand outstretched. Clarke fished in her back pocket and handed it to him. As she ate her pizza she watched her phone make the trip around the group.

Receiving her phone back she flicked through her contacts, setting up a group text.

‘There you are guys. You should all have my number.’

‘Awesome. Next time you get lost Jasper will come and save you.’

‘Jasper doesn’t know his way around the city anyway’ reminded Bellamy.

‘You are mistaken sir! Jasper is a knight of great courage and-‘

‘Maybe ‘Jasper’ should stop speaking in the third person and I might speak to him again after this’ muttered Clarke into her pizza, earning her a smirk from Lexa and a grin from Octavia.

‘He does that sometimes,’ she explained.

‘Hey! You love me guys…’

‘At least Monty always will.’

‘Thanks Lex. You always know how to make a guy feel special.’

‘My pleasure.’

Monty patted Jasper on the back trying to look as sympathetic as possible.

The group chatted as they ate their food and Clarke watched them interact, her good mood back in one piece as the close friends joked and shoved pizza into their mouths. Lexa remained observant, interjecting only sparingly her face seemingly impassive, though Clarke noticed a glint in her eye that confirmed her suspicions that Lexa was simply content.

Clarke noticed she was staring the moment Lexa’s eyes met hers and Clarke quickly (but, she thought, definitely subtly) shifted her attention back to the group.

‘Do you play?’

Clarke jumped slightly as Lexa addressed her and she turned to face her, a questioning look in her eyes.

‘The guitar: do you play?’

‘Um yeah. Not well, but I can play. Mainly the acoustic though: I know basic chords and things.’

Lexa nodded and a silence descended between the two.

‘What about you? Do you play the bass?’

‘Yes.’

‘She also plays drums and piano. And she can sing,’ interjected Raven, reaching for another slice of pizza. Clarke’s eyes didn’t leave Lexa.

Lexa shrugged.

 Soon the pizza was gone, a few stray slices littering the boxes but no one willing to finish them.

‘Okay we should probably start doing something before Clarke has to go.’

Bellamy began to stand up and walk over to the stage. Clarke followed, going to her bass and unzipping the case.

‘Which one do you want?’ asked Lexa standing near her amps.

Clarke wandered over.

‘Um I don’t really know the difference. Whichever you think is best for your sound.’

Lexa nodded once before lifting one near the edge of the stack of amps and hauling it up to the stage, Clarke following her.

‘Thanks.’

‘Okay Griffin, what do you know?’

‘Pick a song. I’m sure I’ll know it.’

Octavia raised an eyebrow.

‘You sure Griffin: we can start easy until you find your rhythm?’

‘Try me.’

Clarke met the challenge, plugging in her bass and adjusting her sound.

‘Alright. Lexa you ready to show Griffin how it’s done?’

Lexa raised her attention from her amp and stood straight, gaze meeting Clarke’s.

‘Absolutely.’

Clarke grinned.

‘Bring it.’


	3. Nailed It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a series of long train journeys so an unusually speedy update. 
> 
> I apologise in advance for the concentration required for the concentration game but know that I did work it out correctly I swear.
> 
> I am a little exhausted so there may be a few punctuation errors. Please excuse them for now. 
> 
> Music of the Chapter: The Black Keys, The Harpoonist and the Axeman, Hanni El Khatib

‘Shit shit shit shit shit.’

The stream of curses left Clarke’s mouth in a hushed tone as she scrambled up from the couch she had fallen asleep on.

She stood up eyes still bleary and surveyed her surroundings: Octavia and Bellamy were sprawled across one couch fast asleep and she thought she could make out Raven’s head on the floor.

The group had practiced into the early hours last night as Clarke met them note for note. Monty and Jasper had gone up to their rooms at around midnight but the rest of them had stayed up perfecting tunes and creating melodies until they had simply become too exhausted to continue.

The moment Bellamy hit himself in the head with his drumstick they called it quits and crashed on the couches.

‘Shit.’

Clarke had overslept: her class started 15 minutes ago and she was struggling to find her shoes.

‘Fucking fuck tits.’

‘Impressive Clarke’ intoned a low voice.

Clarke spun round to face the voice that emanated from the stage. Lexa sat on the edge strumming her unplugged guitar softly.

‘Sorry’ Clarke all but stage whispered.

‘Your coat and shoes are over here.’

Clarke strode over quickly traversing the space between them.

‘Over there.’

Lexa pointed to the corner of the stage, watching as Clarke bent over to retrieve her shoes before sitting beside Lexa and pulling on her boots, struggling with the laces.

‘Do you want some coffee?’

‘Uh…no no I have to go.’

Lexa nodded and Clarke sat up eying Lexa.

‘Sorry. I just really have to get to class.’

She offered a small smile in apology.

‘Okay.’

Clarke stood up, reaching around for her coat before shrugging it on and walking over to her bass ready to pack it up.

‘So uh…when are you next free? When’s a good time for you?’

‘You can leave it here.’

‘What?’

‘The bass: leave it here. You’ll be back soon enough.’

‘Oh right okay yeah, thanks.’

Clarke propped her bass up against the nearest wall before heading to the door.

‘So next time?’

‘Wednesday morning?’

‘Yeah that works just so we can work out the solos I think. Does 9am sound good?’

Lexa nodded and Clarke grinned in return.

‘Okay I’ll see you then!’ and she darted out of the room taking the steps two at a time. Lexa’s gaze followed her as she fell out of sight, before refocusing on her guitar.

‘Mmmm you like her.’

Lexa’s head snapped up to the source of the slightly muffled voice.

Raven was stretched out on the floor groaning as she fought off the first signs of waking up, repositioning her body in an attempt to fall back to sleep once again. She turned on her side to face Lexa, one eye half open and trained on her.

‘Don’t look at me like that you do. It’s a good thing Lexa, if slightly weird.’

‘Weird? Why is it weird?’

Raven did her best impression of a shrug lying down.

‘I don’t know. Maybe because it took you a year to stop glaring at _me_ like I’d just killed your puppy. Not that I’m hurt at the favouritism or anything.’

Lexa didn’t even try to deny it.

‘I’m just sayin’ Lex. You two should hang out more.’

‘Why?’

‘Friends Lexa; it’s what people do to make friends.’

Lexa chose to ignore her in favour of her instrument.

‘Don’t you strum angrily at me it’s too early for this. Octavia would back me up.’

‘I’m not saying I don’t like her or that I don’t wish to be friends with her.’

‘Good. Just…make an effort yeah? She’d probably appreciate it.’

Lexa glared down at her guitar.

‘I am,’ she bit out in frustration, signifying the end of the conversation.

Raven sighed and closed her eye.

‘And ‘most welcoming band member goes to…’’ she muttered.

‘I can hear you.’

 

* * *

 

 Clarke slowed as she approached the door to Lexa’s apartment, right hand gripping her bass by the neck as she listened to the sounds coming from within the room.

She stood outside the door listening raptly to Lexa play along to a song she recognized, improvising and apparently getting very into the chords as the feedback from her amp reverberated.

‘Go in Griffin,’ called Bellamy teasingly from the end of the corridor as he climbed up the stairs, ‘she won’t bite.’

‘Just being careful!’ Clarke called after him as he disappeared up the staircase while studiously ignoring the faint heat in her cheeks at being caught standing in a somewhat creepy manner outside Lexa’s door.

She turned to said door, waiting for the final notes of the song before knocking timidly.

‘Come in.’

Clarke stepped through slowly, glancing around at the spacious apartment before fixating on Lexa. She was sat cross-legged on the couch holding a guitar across her lap plugged into a small amp resting on the coffee table. Her laptop was open in front of where she sat.

‘Hey sorry I’m a bit late I was listening to you play: was that _The Black Keys_?’

‘You know them?’

Clarke nodded enthusiastically before shutting the door behind her.

‘Yeah absolutely; _El Camino_ was like my jamming album for a year.’

‘Favourite song?’

‘From that album? _Gold on the Ceiling_ hands down.’

‘Same.’

Clarke grinned, striding over to join Lexa on the couch and propping her bass against the coffee table.

‘We have great taste.’

‘Of course.’

There was a silence laced with just a little bit of awkward.

Lexa took it upon herself to dispel it.

‘I uh…I was trying to practice blues. I want to try and integrate some elements into the next album.’

‘Oh my god yes! That would work really well actually: like rock blues type stuff.’

Lexa nodded.

‘Exactly.’

‘Wait wait, do you have another guitar up here?’

Lexa raised an eyebrow and Clarke chuckled in response.

‘Of course you do.’

‘Over there.’

Lexa indicated behind Clarke to a couple of black cases resting on the wall.

‘Do you mind which one? Or…mind at all?’ asked Clarke making her way over to the cases.

‘No. One’s acoustic though: I think the one on the left.’

Clarke opened up the other case, tentatively lifting out a Fender Starcaster and pulling out a lead. She plugged it in, sitting back down on the couch as Lexa handed her a spare pick.

‘Okay so maybe…’

Clarke gave a few experimental strums adjusting the sound as necessary.

‘Nice guitar by the way,’ she commented, gingerly strumming the expensive instrument.

‘Thanks. I saw it in Berlin and had to have it.’

‘I get the feeling that happens a lot between you and guitars.’

‘Maybe.’

Clarke grinned.

‘Okay right, bearing in mind I’m not the best guitar player here I was thinking you could play something like…’

Clarke demonstrated a short riff basing it in what she knew from songs she had learnt.

‘Definitely sensing _The Black Keys_ here Clarke.’

‘Give me a sec I just have to start with something I know…’ muttered Clarke in concentration.

Lexa’s mouth twitched in an almost-smile, eyes grinning.

‘Like _I Got Mine_?’

‘Maybe,’ replied Clarke, still refusing to look up as she concentrated on the riff.

‘Good song.’

‘I know.’

As Clarke began to move outward from the existing riff Lexa began playing along, adding to the small riff and making it more original, fingers travelling the length of the fret board as she played a tuneful blues tune.

‘Yes! That sounds so good!’

Lexa put in a few string bends and Clarke began working out some additional chords.

‘And then maybe Octavia could play something up here?’

‘Yeah, or we could put that as the chorus?’

‘Yeah and Octavia can work something else out.’

‘Octavia definitely can: guys that sounds awesome.’

Both Lexa and Clarke stopped playing and turned to face Octavia standing in the doorway, her guitar resting against her legs.

‘Do you ever knock?’

‘Nope. But seriously I love that sound Lex we can definitely work with that.’

‘It was mainly Clarke.’

‘No no! I mean it was both of us. It just worked.’

‘Whatever it was I love it and I can’t wait to work on it. But later! We have work to do guys!’

‘What’s this, Octavia being focused?’ teased Lexa sharing a look with Clarke.

‘Shush. Come on: we’ve got to kill it this weekend. It’s our first gig in our hometown in almost a year, and our first with Clarke. We’ve got to make it awesome as fuck.’

‘You’re the boss.’

Clarke put aside the guitar and reached for her bass switching out the leads.

‘Focused and ready’ assured Clarke.

‘Good. But first: Lexa, do you have any food? I’m starving over here.’

 

* * *

 

 The week passed in an exhausting blur: every free moment was spent at the apartment building running through the setlist to make it beyond perfection. Clarke was hyped up on caffeine, her fingers were blistered beyond belief and her diet had consisted of cold pizza for pretty much four days straight: she felt like shit and yet her body buzzed with adrenaline as the group waited backstage at DropShip ready to be called on.

‘You ready Griffin?’ asked Octavia running through some scales on her guitar.

‘Nope. I’m terrified.’

‘You’ll be fine. And remember, we’ve got your back.’

Clarke flashed Bellamy a grateful grin at his reassurance.

‘…AND OUT SPECIAL GUESTS: DRAIN DOWN!’

‘That’s our cue. Let’s nail this!’

Octavia led the four onto the stage parading in front of a disbelieving crowd because Drain Down? Here? Tonight? Holy shit.

Clarke set up her bass, nervous as hell and sweating like crazy. She glanced to her right as she played a few tester notes and caught Lexa’s eye. Lexa nodded in encouragement, game face on eyes lit with fire and Clarke knew she was gonna kill it because like hell she was going to let that fire die.

‘Hello DropShip! We’re Drain Down playing a special performance at one of our favourite fucking venues!’ shouted Octavia to the buzz of a bar brimming with excitement.

‘You lucky people have the joy of listening to us play so get the fuck ready!’

The bar cheered and Clarke couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face.

‘Let’s fucking do this!’ continued Octavia, strumming a few experimental power chords.

‘BLOOD DRAINS…’

‘BLOOD DOWN!’ responded the packed bar, all attention fixed to the stage as the world famous band began their first song.

Clarke didn’t know what she’d been so worried about: the music began and Clarke nailed it, matching Lexa note for note as the group worked in tandem. A missed note and true to her word Lexa was right behind her as backup, the two in perfect unity.

Their solos went well, as did the few spontaneous covers they did at the behest of the crowd: Clarke belonged there, feeling the thrill of the music just as much as the rest of them. Lexa grinned at Clarke and Clarke swore she’d never seen anything more perfect as she hashed out a bass solo to the roar of the crowd: it was sublime.

Too soon it ended, the four of them sweaty and exhausted and utterly energized.

‘You guys are the best! We’re done for the night but hey, it’s been great!’ yelled Octavia.

‘Thanks for having us guys: it’s goodnight from me, Lexa, Bellamy and our awesome new bassist: Clarke! Don’t forget us! We’ll be back!’

The band filed off stage to a cheerful and satisfied bar that couldn’t believe their luck.

Clarke barely made it backstage before Octavia tackled her.

‘Griffin you fucking rocked it!’

Clarke was caught between laughing and groaning as she fought off the girl.

‘Thanks! But seriously, you guys were amazing! THAT was amazing holy shit!’

‘Hi-five Griffin you fucking deserve it,’ and Clarke met Bellamy’s waiting palm with her own.

‘Come on Griffin let’s go celebrate!’

Clarke nodded and followed Bellamy. She stopped and turned around, waiting for Lexa to follow.

‘You were great Clarke.’

Clarke’s smile could have lit the bar itself.

‘Thanks Lexa, that’s…’

Lexa nodded somewhat stiffly but her features were soft and Clarke’s grin never left her face as they walked down to the bar.

 

* * *

 

‘Taylor Swift’

‘Dolly Parton’

‘Carrie Underwood’

‘Hozier’

‘How the hell is Hozier country? On what planet is Hozier country?’

‘My planet!’

‘That’s shameful. Drink Blake. You lose!’

Clarke pointed at Octavia overdramatically as she watched her down the tequila shot on the bar.

‘Fuck you Griffin.’

‘Reigning champion motherfuckers!’

Clarke was grinning the whole group buzzing on alcohol stood next to the bar. It had been Clarke’s idea to play ‘the concentration game’ with a twist- a strictly alcoholic twist- and while arguably the most sober of the group she was still pretty fucked.

‘Who’s next?’

‘Jassssppeeerrrr!’

‘No no guys come on!’

‘Jasper get your butt on that stool!’ commanded Raven, pouring him a shot ready as Monty pushed him towards the empty seat and shoved him down.

Clarke began:

‘Concentration’

‘64’

‘No repeats’

‘Or hesitations’

‘I’ll start’

‘You follow’

‘Subject is:’

‘Animals.’

‘Tiger’

‘Lion’

‘Monkey’

‘Ape’

‘Spider’

‘Shark’

‘Snake’

‘Spider’

‘NO HA REPEAT I WIN!’ chanted Clarke.

‘Fuck!’

Jasper took the shot, grimacing as it went down.

‘Undefeated. I truly am amazing.’

‘Don’t be so sure Clarke. I’m next.’

Lexa strode over beer in hand and took Jasper’s seat looking thoroughly determined.

‘Oh you’re going down Lexa.’

‘No way.’

‘Fucking destroy her Lex!’ encouraged Raven as she poured Lexa a shot.

The two sat deadlocked in a stare and Clarke began once more:

‘Concentration’

‘64’

‘No repeats’

‘Or hesitations’

‘I’ll start’

‘You follow’

‘Subject is:’

‘Guitars.’

‘Stratocaster’

‘Telecaster’

‘Gibson SG’

‘Rickenbacker’

‘P Bass’

‘Gibson Explorer’

‘Thunderbird’

‘Guild s-100’

‘Uh…Squier P Bass’

‘You _lose_ Griffin!’

‘What no no that’s a thing!’

‘It’s a repeat!’

‘Is not! The first one was a Fender P Bass!’

‘No no no no and anyway it doesn’t matter you hesitated. Take the shot Clarke. Take The Shot, Take The Shot…’

The rest of the group gleefully encouraged the chant as Clarke shot a death glare at a very smug Lexa.

‘Fuck you.’

Lexa stuck her tongue out at Clarke. Literally stuck her tongue out like a child and Clarke barked with laughter.

‘You child!’

‘Drink it!’

Clarke downed the tequila with ease still grinning at Lexa.

‘And Griffin goes down!’ yelled Monty.

‘I will fucking end you Lexa!’

‘Promises promises Clarke,’ the woman teased as the two began an unintentional staring contest.

Clarke lost.

‘Fuck!’

‘You’re buying the next round Clarke.’

‘Since when?!’

‘Since you lost the fucking staring contest as well.’

‘Fuck you.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter:
> 
> The Fender Starcaster: http://www.guitarguitar.co.uk/electric_guitars_detail.asp?stock=13090213204832&gclid=CPvso7vRrsQCFUPJtAodFmsARg
> 
> Lexa's Couch (Blues) Guitar: http://guildguitars.com/guitars/electric-guitars/


	4. It's Better If You Don't Speak Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe I am a little late with this update: I'm trying to stick to at least a chapter a week for now. 
> 
> Please enjoy. I enjoy your enjoyment. In the least creepy way possible.

Clarke awoke stiff and feeling disgusting. She shifted her torso slightly and felt her stomach lurch upwards as its contents shifted.

She felt distinctly seasick and resolved never to try moving again.

She tried opening her eyes just a sliver, but it proved too much for her heavily encumbered brain and she quickly abandoned that activity.

She lay still and unmoving, slowly coming to consciousness in the dark trying to remember what exactly _happened_ last night.

Perhaps more importantly: she had no idea where the hell she was: she couldn’t exactly open her eyes to check now could she?

It took her a moment but Clarke came to the stunning realization that she was naked. Unclothed. Bare under what felt like a duvet. A very nice duvet in fact just like the very comfortable bed she was apparently laying in.

She relaxed into the warmth and comfort.

So she was naked and in a bed and presumably someone owned this bed.

This wasn’t going well.

Actually it was going moderately well, Clarke reasoned, considering she felt no other presence beside her.

She was alone.

Next question: _where the hell was she?_

She shifted carefully into a more comfortable position, stretching out her legs ever so slightly.

The memories were…faded. Missing. Definitely missing. Somewhere around the bottle of whiskey things started to get…fuzzy…or just, weren’t there.

There was the bar, the many rounds of beer, concentration, shots, coming back to the apartments and…nothing. There were bits of the walk back: leaning on someone- Raven mainly, she thought, or it might have been Lexa- arguing, a wall, Jasper doing something…steps. The steps had been tough. Really needing to pee.

Okay so she had definitely made it back to the apartments and so, she reasoned, she must still be there.

But then _whose bed was this and why was she naked?_

Clarke groaned and bit the bullet, sitting up and opening her eyes with more care than she had given to many things.

It was a light room: wooden floor, double bed, white sheets and an en suite. It was nice.

It was currently a bit bright.

Clarke squinted, blocking out the harsh daylight piercing through the curtains holding the duvet up to cover her naked chest.

She kind of needed to pee.

It was a long way to the bathroom.

She slowly fell forward, pulling her legs back and extending her torso so that she now lay straight flat on the covers, feet on the pillows.

She stopped for a breather, the exertion and mental control taken to repress the volatile contents of her stomach zapping what little strength she had.

She shifted her legs so that her feet now hung off the side of the bed, followed by her calves and knees and thighs until her feet touched the floor. She slid her torso backwards as her legs slowly pushed her upwards. Finally she used the bed frame to push herself upwards, and she was standing.

The world was a harsh place from this vantage point: she did not wish to see it like this.

Everything felt wobbly.

Her steps were slow and purposeful, eyes closed as much as possible as she all but felt her way out to the bathroom.

The toilet seat gave her a much needed rest as she rested her weary eyes.

Splashing her face with cold water and cleaning her teeth she felt marginally more presentable, even if she was stark naked except for her underwear in a place she didn’t recognize while her stomach did flips at the taste of cool mint lingering in her mouth.

She opened her eyes.

She tied up her hair.

She padded back through to the bedroom and resolved to find something to wear.

There was a small chair in the corner of the room and Clarke spotted a grey t-shirt neatly folded resting upon it.

Excellent.

She put the shirt on. Slowly.

She did not question where the shirt had come from.

Finally, she felt ready to face the world outside the confines of this small utopia of peace she now found herself in.

Clarke walked over to the door and opened it with a unique sense of trepidation: where was she? Was anyone there? What if there was noise? What if she’d been kidnapped by an insane cult and was currently being observed through hundreds of tiny cameras hidden inside the furniture?

The door opened to an empty living area.

Okay, so it was a cult. Right.

Wait no Clarke recognized this; the couches, that TV, those _guitars_.

Oh God she was at Lexa’s.

Clarke audibly groaned, earning the attention of Lexa sat silently reading at her kitchen counter who turned around to meet the noise.

‘Morning.’

Clarke just groaned and walked over to a couch before sliding onto it and lying down.

‘What happened?’ asked Clarke, voice croaky.

Lexa put down her book and turned to face the couch Clarke lay on, addressing the back of it:

‘You don’t remember?’

‘And you do?’

‘More than you.’

‘Don’t. I’m delicate.’

‘Whose fault is that?’

‘ _Yours_ ’

‘Try again.’

‘Please spare me the lecture. I hurt.’

‘Wasn’t going to lecture you.’

Clarke could hear the amusement in Lexa’s voice, could see the corners of Lexa’s mouth twitch up in her minds eye.

‘This is not funny.’

‘It is.’

‘How the hell are you okay?’

‘Water. And I didn’t drink nearly as much as you.’

‘I don’t even want to know.’

‘You made out with Octavia’

Clarke shot up.

‘WHAT?’

Lexa stoically met Clarke’s wide eyes but her eyes gleamed with mischief.

‘Oh fuck you Lexa.’

Clarke slowly laid back down again in an angry fashion, frowning.

‘I’m more amused that you’d think yourself capable of doing so.’

‘Well I don’t know I wouldn’t put it past myself. But seriously, I woke up naked so something must have happened. Do I want to know what?’

‘Nothing bad. You and Raven decided to have a drinking contest. You both couldn’t keep it down. Octavia took Raven and I took you: I’m sorry. I cleaned you up as best I could, undressed you and stuck you in the shower. I didn’t redress you incase you hurled again.’

Clarke let her mind focus on the information, absorbing the facts.

‘Oh my _god_.’

Clarke slung her forearm over her eyes in embarrassment.

‘Oh my god. Oh my god. Lexa I’m so sorry.’

‘It’s fine.’

‘It’s not fine I’ve known you barely a week and I vomited everywhere. And you’ve seen me naked. Oh my god you’ve seen me naked. Oh my god.’

‘Honestly I was more preoccupied with getting you to stop chewing on the shower head. Or groping me.’

Clarke curled up into a ball on the couch showing her face into the cushions.

‘Oh my god I _groped_ you. Repeatedly. See? SEE? This is what I meant. Oh my god I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.’

‘It’s fine Clarke.’

‘It is not fine Lexa you saw me naked. I vomited everywhere I _groped_ you.’

‘Well, it wasn’t an unpleasant experience.’

‘Please stop.’

‘When you couldn’t make out with my neck you made out with the shower cord.’

‘No please stop.’

‘It was rather ingenious.’

‘Shut up Lexa.’

‘I was impressed.’

‘This is absolutely not happening. I made out with your neck. Oh _god._ ’

Clarke whined into the pillow wishing something would just kill her now.

She sort of wished it had been the cult.

‘It’s fine Clarke.’

‘I’m never drinking again.’

‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Would you like some breakfast?’

‘I honestly don’t think my stomach would be okay with that.’

‘You should eat something.’

There was silence between the two as Clarke lay still, listening as Lexa ran the taps and opened cupboards, plates clanging lightly. The light footfalls got louder as Lexa sat a plate and a cup gently down onto the coffee table before occupying the other couch.

Clarke slowly turned around but did not move to sit up, eying the presented breakfast.

‘Water and French toast. And some fruit.’

‘Thanks.’

Clarke did not move to eat it.

‘Eat Clarke.’

‘Lexa, I’ll hurl.’

‘You’ll feel better.’

‘How would you know you’re fine right now you’re like immune to hangovers.’

‘Absolutely not true’ Octavia’s voice answered, a little too loud for Clarke’s liking.

‘Please be quiet O.’

Raven apparently beat Clarke to a reprimand.

‘Please learn to knock.’

Clarke slowly began to sit up, legs swinging over the side of the couch as she made room for Octavia and Raven. Clarke and Raven eyed each other sympathetically in that way only fellow sufferers can.

‘Morning.’

‘Morning.’

‘How’s the head?’

‘Like a dinosaur giving birth. Yours?’

‘Like a whale playing hopscotch on it.’

Octavia reached for the plate of French toast, taking a piece before breaking a section off for Raven who slowly nibbled at it.

Lexa looked pointedly at Clarke.

Clarke sighed and reached for a piece before nibbling at it. It was good. If she didn’t feel so nauseous she’d probably linger more on Lexa’s amazing cooking abilities but as it stood, she was too busy fighting down bile.

Lexa broke the descended silence.

‘Kane called.’

Octavia groaned loudly.

‘Sshshsh. _Please_ ,’ implored Raven.

‘What does he want?’

‘Meeting today at 1.’

‘You’re joking?’

‘Sorry Raven. And Clarke.’

‘Wait what?’

‘You’re going to have to meet Kane today: he wants to see our new bassist and talk touring.’

‘Another one?’ Octavia reached for a strawberry, ‘but we just got back.’

‘World tour he says.’

‘Fuck.’

‘And let’s not forget the ‘new album’’ muttered Raven into her toast.

‘This guy sounds like an ass.’

‘He’s…okay,’ reasoned Lexa, ‘when you get to know him. It’s Dante that’s the one worry about. He won’t be there.’

‘You really want to hope he’s not there’ added Octavia gravely.

‘Why?’

‘You’ll see.’

 

* * *

 

 

‘I thought you said he wouldn’t be here?’ gritted out Octavia under her breath as they walked through glamorous corridors lead by Dante Wallace and Marcus Kane.

Lexa shrugged.

Clarke and Raven followed behind them in a near daze, pumped full of Mountain Dew and Advil to stave off the never-ending sense of impending stomach ejection.

Bellamy took up the rear, face hard but keeping a careful eye on the two swaying girls.

They were led into a large boardroom: Dante and Kane sat on one side of the table while the band occupied the other.

‘Is there anything else I can get for you Mr. Wallace?’ chimed the grating cheerful voice of his secretary.

‘No thank you Tsing that’s quite alright. Could you find my son for me he is meant to be here.’

‘Of course.’

The woman left and the group descended into awkward silence, punctuated by the occasional groan from the hung-over girls.

Lexa, Octavia and Bellamy kept their eyes on the two men.

‘How have you been?’ began Dante cordially enough.

‘Fine, thank you.’

‘And the music? How is that?’

‘In progress.’

Dante smiled.

‘Well that’s a start.’

He turned his gaze upon Clarke who currently lay face down on the desk, head cradled in her arms.

‘And this must be your new member.’

Clarke lifted her head at the mention and sat up straight, reaching to shake hands with Dante over the table.

‘Clarke Griffin.’

‘Dante Wallace: an absolute pleasure.’

‘Why are we here Dante?’ questioned Octavia leant back in her chair arms crossed in defiance.

‘It was Kane’s suggestion actually.’

‘Yes,’ Kane turned his attention to Clarke, ‘Marcus Kane. Pleasure.’ His attention returned to the group, ‘ I wanted to discuss the future. And more specifically, what you plan to do with it.’

‘What you want us to do with it you mean’ muttered Octavia, earning her an elbow nudged from her stone faced brother.

Kane smiled.

‘If that’s what you think then yes. We wanted to talk about the suggestion of another world tour.’

‘No way: we literally just got back.’

‘My sister is right Kane. We can’t go on a tour like that again so soon.’

Kane raised an eyebrow.

‘What he means,’ interrupted Lexa’s calm voice, ‘is that you cannot expect us to write more music at the pace you demand while sending us around the world. And that we would appreciate it if we were able to spend more time in the city.’

‘I apologise Lexa, with regards to the situation we’re putting you in but there are people calling for a new tour and the last one was such a success.’

‘If we do this tour you cannot expect a new album by the end of the year. It’s not going to be possible.’

‘No?’

Kane’s tone suggested otherwise.

Lexa’s face grew hard.

‘No.’

‘Lexa,’ smoothed out Dante, ‘we shan’t expect a full album from you but some new music would be…advisable.’

‘Advisable?’

‘What he means to say is that we need new music from you.’

‘And if we don’t?’

‘Find another label.’

The silence that fell was not pleasant, though Dante retained an air cordiality that did little to settle the well-established tensions.

Clarke sat silent observing the scene from the sidelines as she watched Lexa’s jaw flex subtly her body tensing. She remained still like a statue, thought Clarke, accumulating all that anger in a slender tense frame it radiated from her. Her presence was impressive for someone who said so little reluctant to speak without thought: Lexa was formidable.

The group was still, waiting for Lexa’s lead but holding their own.

‘We’ll tour. We’ll write two singles and work on the album. We chose dates and touring companions.’

Octavia looked like she was about to protest but held her tongue.

‘This is-‘

‘The only offer you’re going to get. Take it Kane.’

Despite being in the weaker position Lexa conveyed a sense of power, delivering the ultimatum.

‘Fine. Who do you have in mind?’

‘The Reapers.’

‘Acceptable.’

‘And we want two weeks here,’ blurted Octavia.

Kane’s gaze snapped to her.

‘Once again this can be…arranged.’

‘Excellent!’ declared Dante, apparently unaffected by the tense atmosphere, ‘the tour shall start in two weeks beginning in Madison Square. We felt Europe was apt as a follow up, Australia and around the US.’

‘Of course.’

 ‘I’m so glad we could come to an agreement. We’ll take care of everything else: flights, accommodation, tour buses.’

‘We want 5 star and first class Kane’ demanded Raven, finally awaking to her surroundings.

Kane glared but said nothing.

‘I’m sure that can be arranged Raven’ soothed Dante.

‘Is there anything else?’

‘No. You can go.’

Lexa stood up and led the group out of the room. The walk out of the building was silent, each mulling over the meeting and its results. The group made it outside huddled together in a circle.

‘Fuck them’ spat Octavia, ‘this always fucking happens. I’m so tired of it: of us making money for them like this. It’s like we’re not even people.’

‘Calm down O. you know why it’s like this,’ soothed Bellamy, ‘besides at least we get two weeks here and that gives time for Clarke to sort herself out.’

‘It’s totally not fair on Clarke though I mean she’s going to have to learn the whole setlist in two weeks: all of our songs and covers. That’s mental.’

‘Let’s not forget the press release; they’ll be working on that as we speak so we better get ready for a fuck ton of interviews. Clarke especially.’

‘Fuck. Fuck this. Fuck them.’

Clarke hadn’t said a word, head down looking firmly at the ground. The group began to move off heading towards the apartments. Clarke turned and went the other way.

Lexa followed, trailing behind her silently.

Clarke made it about a block before she turned around.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Following you.’

‘That’s kind of creepy you know.’

‘I’ve seen you naked making out with a shower head and you’re saying me walking behind you, when I could just be walking this way for some undisclosed reason, is creepy?’

‘I thought we agreed never to mention that?’

‘I did no such thing. But my lips are sealed Clarke.’

Clarke regarded Lexa, her eyes piercing seeing right through Clarke. Clarke couldn’t look, didn’t want to look so she turned around, resuming her walk at a brisk pace.

Lexa continued to follow her.

They made it to Central Park before Clarke stopped looking over the expanse of grass and the people walking, jogging kids playing in the watery snow.

Lexa came to a stop beside her.

‘Why are you following me Lexa?’ Clarke tried again, voice tired.

Lexa paused slightly.

‘Something is troubling you Clarke.’

Clarke said nothing, choosing her words carefully.

‘I’m hung-over Lexa.’

There was a long silence between them.

‘Okay.’

They didn’t move, not for a long time, the air getting cold enough to aggravate them both, becoming unbearable as they simply kept each other company. Clarke was glad of it and Lexa seemed to know this.

‘I should head back I have work to do.’

Lexa nodded.

‘Come with me.’

‘Lexa I can’t I have to-‘

‘To the apartments,’ she clarified, ‘you’re part of the band now, and we have enough rooms to house you. The room you woke up in: it will suffice?’

‘Lexa I…couldn’t. I couldn’t pay rent and I would be in your way it’s your apartment.’

‘You’re part of the band now Clarke, you don’t have to pay rent: none of us do. The building is ours to do with as we wish.’

‘The others…’

‘Will be fine Clarke. I’ll help you move your things. Besides, it is merely for two weeks.’

Clarke turned to face Lexa who refused to look at Clarke in turn. Her hands were stuffed firmly in her pockets and her body was tense. Clarke smiled softly.

‘Okay you got me. I can’t find any other excuses. I’ll move in with you.’

Lexa relaxed slightly.

‘Although usually I would demand a date before I even think about sharing an apartment,’ teased Clarke, watching as Lexa stiffen awkwardly.

Clarke let out a laugh.

‘Come on then. You said you would help right?’

Clarke trotted back the way they had come towards her current living accommodation.

Lexa watched her go for a while, gaze thoughtful, before jogging to catch up.


	5. Dealing To An Empty Table

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned. 
> 
> This, I think, is the last of the preliminary chapters. The drama starts here and doesn't really let up until the end. Yes I have an ending. Isn't that exciting? Not for a long while though. Fear not. 
> 
> I should also thank people for reading this and reviewing and kudos-ing. Thanks guys. You're all beautiful people.

The move into Lexa’s apartment had been fairly painless: Lexa was almost shocked at how few personal possessions Clarke had.

_‘Is that it?’_

_‘Yep.’_

_‘You only have one bass?’_

_‘I’m not made of money Lexa. I’m a student: I can’t even afford lunch on a good day.’_

The rest of the band welcomed her just as Lexa had said they would, though their own shock at Lexa making such an offer was something less than subtle.

_‘Clarke’s taking my other room.’_

_Raven raised an eyebrow, Monty and Jasper hi-fived not as subtly as they thought and Octavia and Bellamy shared a look._

_‘For reals?’ inquired Octavia, ‘you share with no one.’_

_‘Well where else is she going to stay?’_

_‘At her own place?’_

_‘Or one of us would’ve moved, right O.?’ offered Raven._

_‘Yep. You didn’t have to do this Lex.’_

_The implication was evident in Octavia’s voice and Lexa challenged her to say more with a hard look._

_Octavia shrugged._

_‘Suit yourself. As long as you don’t regret it.’_

Lexa, for her part, couldn’t see that there was much to regret. Clarke was a conscientious roommate most of the time: did her fair share of cleaning, grocery shopping and generally kept things tidy. Except her paints that somehow found their way sprawled on Lexa’s coffee table: watercolors, pastels and pencils; paper, ink, sometimes even an easel, but Lexa decides she can forgive her. Clarke had said the view from the window was inspiring and the art she produced wasn’t exactly harsh on Lexa’s eyes. She liked watching it take shape: she liked seeing it. She felt privileged to see it considering she had not yet seen Clarke show another soul.

Often they would sit in silence, Lexa reading some book or another whilst Clarke’s pencil scratched softly on the paper of her sketchpad, and Lexa would be the last to admit she didn’t get as far in her reading as she would have liked.

It’s not like she was watching Clarke work or anything.

Clarke herself enjoyed the arrangement. It meant a longer walk to her classes but it allowed her to spend more time with the band and relax with Lexa. Plus, as she had suspected Lexa’s cooking was amazing: no longer constrained by a student budget Clarke was starting to worry she’d have to go to the gym, because the food Lexa made was stunning. Steak, salad, crème brulee, soufflé, tartiflette, veal, sauté potatoes, salmon steaks and tuna fillet with marinated beetroot and side of spinach. Really it was unfair.

Lexa cooked as Clarke worked on her art assignments, the aroma of a soon-to-exist meal drifting through the apartment often luring the others through and despite all her protest, Clarke knew Lexa enough that she enjoyed the company and Clarke would hide away her work and help with the chaos.

It made her feel more welcome than she ever had, despite the ache in her fingers rubbed raw from her bass strings and her eyes that stung with exhaustion: she had never felt more alive.

Of course, the bliss couldn’t last. There was always something.

 

* * *

 

 

Her phone buzzed on the side table, shifting around on the solid surface and jolting Clarke awake. Her hand fumbled to still the device as she struggled to pull herself out of her slumber, putting the phone to her ear.

‘M’llo?’ she mumbled out.

‘Clarke.’

The voice of her mother startled her out of her drowsy haze and she shot upright.

‘Mom.’

The line crackled in silence. Clarke began to get out of bed, one hand holding the phone to her ear whilst she fumbled to find a zip-up hoodie.

‘How are you Mom?’ she asked tentatively.

‘Fine Clarke: how are your studies?’

‘Good. They’re good. Great. Really great. Yeah.’

Having found a grey cardigan type thing Clarke padded her way through to the main room, curling up on the couch.

It was early, the clock in the kitchen showed 6:30, and Lexa was out running in the rain.

Clarke was thankful she had the place to herself.

‘What about you Mom: how are you?’

‘Busy as usual: the hospital overtime keeps me busy.’

Yes. Of course.

‘Oh, I hope they’re not working you too hard?’

‘Nothing I can’t handle though Diane-have I told you about Diane? - she keeps handing me her shifts and her paperwork. I can’t stand her you know?’

Yes. She knew. Of course: how terrible.

‘Really?’

‘I really can’t stand her. I’m going to quit one of these days it’s ridiculous.’

No you won’t.

‘You should do what makes you happy Mom honestly.’

‘I know darling. I know. I’m trying. And what about you: how are your medical studies? Any interesting modules?’

Clarke closed her eyes, taking a moment. She was about to take a large bite of the bullet and it was going to hurt.

‘Mom I’m not doing pre-med anymore.’

‘What?’

‘I’m not doing it anymore.’

‘Clarke what are you telling me?’

Clarke sighed.

‘Exactly what you think Mom.’

‘No Clarke tell me please.’

Her tone had taken an icy edge.

‘Mom…’

‘No. I want you to say it. I want you to tell me right now that your wasting _everything_ I have done for you-‘

‘I’m not wasting it Mom I’m-‘

‘You ARE Clarke.’

Abigail Griffin was growing tearful on the other end of the phone and Clarke took a shaky breath, listening silently.

‘I have done everything I can to get you where you are. Do you know how much this costs me? Do you know what I gave to your education? And this is how you repay me? Repay your father?’

Clarke snapped, tears brimming over.

‘Don’t you dare bring him up!’

‘He gave everything for you Clarke! And now look at you: what are you going to do?’

‘He would be proud of me! If you ever even bothered to _listen_ you’d know how unhappy I was!’

‘Sacrifices Clarke! I only want what’s best for you! College is just a stepping stone, a way to-‘

‘You’re not the one that has to _sit there_ enduring it all, miserable and wondering why you’re sitting through this! You don’t even care! You don’t even know I changed my minor because you don’t CARE! You’re too busy wrapped up in your own petty problems! You don’t even notice how unhappy I am!’

‘Clarke I-‘

‘No you listen! It’s my turn!’

Clarke was yelling now, tears streaming down her face as she pulled her cardigan closer. She took another shaky breath, willing herself to calm down.

‘I’m happy Mom,’ her voice was shaking, but her tone calm and firm, ‘I’ve dropped pre-med. I’m keeping my art modules until I leave college in two weeks.’

‘Two weeks! Clarke-‘

‘And do you know why I’m leaving in two weeks? Do you even care? I’ll tell you anyway. You deserve to know. Who knows, maybe you’ll be proud of me.’

Clarke let out a hollow laugh.

‘I’m leaving in two weeks because I’m part of a world famous band Mom. I auditioned and got in.’

‘Clarke-‘

‘No. Enough. I’m leaving in two weeks. I’m going on tour with my friends and I’m going to be happy. And don’t call me.’

‘Clarke…’

‘Don’t call me,’ she took a deep breath, ‘don’t call me unless it’s to wish me success. To tell me you’re proud. To support me. Just like Dad would have.’

The line went silent as Abi Griffin absorbed her daughter’s words.

Clarke’s next words came out as little more than a whisper.

‘Don’t call me. Please.’

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa returned from her run drenched and soaked to the bone, water trailing down her exposed arms and running down her bare torso, clad in only her running leggings and sports bra. She pushed open the door to her apartment, chucking her keys casually on the kitchen side before walking towards her bedroom.

She stopped near the doorway as she heard controlled breathing: heavy gasps. Turning around she saw Clarke curled up in the corner of the sofa as small as she could make herself, head buried in her knees as her shoulders shook.

Lexa stared.

She wasn’t good at this. She didn’t cry. She didn’t do very much of anything. But Clarke needed something. What though? Company. What would she say? ‘Hey Clarke, how are you?’ oh yeah great Lexa great clearly she’s fucking peachy. But she couldn’t just leave her there. Didn’t want to. She didn’t like seeing Clarke sad.

Lexa took a couple of steps forward, approaching Clarke warily. She perched on the opposite end of the couch, back ramrod straight and eyes looking firmly ahead.

‘Clarke,’ she tried, voice coming out softer than she expected.

Clarke stopped moving: all noises stopping as she realized she had company, but she did not move.

Lexa wanted her to look up.

‘Clarke,’ she tried again encouragingly.

This time Clarke raised her head; eyes peeking out over the edge of her knees, red from crying as strands of unwashed hair hung blocking part of her vision.

Lexa softened her face when she saw her, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

‘Clarke…’

‘I’m fine,’ she whispered out, eyes locked onto Lexa’s.

‘Okay.’

Clarke’s body shook once more, water threatening to spill over as she struggled to remain composed enough to talk. Lexa looked away as she thought, confused and unsure, but when Clarke let out a shaky gasp Lexa made up her mind and refocused her attention on her crying companion.

‘Come here,’ she offered softly, as softly as she could manage. She wasn’t good at this. 

Clarke took the invitation, apparently oblivious to Lexa’s discomfort as she crawled over and buried herself into Lexa. Lexa awkwardly wrapped her arms around the girl as she cried into her already wet shoulder.

They stayed like that as Clarke sobbed. Lexa didn’t move, her body ridged and tense but her gaze soft on Clarke, fingers rubbing small patterns on her back as she let the girl cry.

‘Sorry.’

It came out muffled but Lexa felt the word on her shoulder.

‘It’s okay.’

‘I don’t…I’m sorry I…’ Clarke made to sit up but Lexa kept her firmly in place. Clarke gladly fell back against her.

‘You’re uncomfortable,’ she mumbled.

Lexa took a deep breath.

‘You’re tense. I should-‘

‘Shut up Clarke.’

Clarke tensed in her arms.

‘I’m not great at this kind of thing. Octavia would probably be better. I don’t do hugs.’

‘You should. You’re comfortable. If a little damp.’

Lexa smiled softly, not that Clarke could see.

‘I can go and get one of the others if you want to talk about it.’

‘I…I don’t want to talk about it. Not yet. I’m happy. I’m happy now. Here.’

As if to prove her point, Clarke tried to burrow herself further into Lexa, pushing her back against the armrest so they lay awkwardly prone.

Neither moved.

‘Okay.’

Silence reigned, and Lexa wondered whether Clarke had fallen asleep.

‘Clarke?’

‘Mmm?’

‘If…you want to talk about it. Eventually. I’ll listen. Or you can talk to Raven, or Octavia or even Bellamy if you want. We’ll all listen. We’ll take care of you.’

Clarke’s arms tightened around Lexa.

‘Liar.’

Lexa raised an eyebrow.

‘Don’t you raise an eyebrow I can sense you doing it.’

Lexa let out a soft chuckle.

‘Okay Clarke; what did I lie about?’

She nuzzled further into Lexa’s neck.

‘You are good at this.’

 

* * *

 

 

Later that day Raven was shoveling granola bars from the snack table into her mouth while Bellamy talked to the photographer. Octavia, Lexa and Clarke leant next to Raven against the snack table.

Lexa stood close, elbow brushing Clarke’s.

‘Raven seriously calm down: we have a photo shoot in like 10 minutes. Do you want to look bloated and gross?’ warned Octavia, reaching for a grape.

‘Photoshop O. Besides I have no food in and I’m starving and I woke up like an hour ago.’

‘At least one of us enjoys the snack table,’ muttered Clarke.

‘Try some Griffin, it tastes so good I swear.’

‘I’m good. Thanks.’

Raven shrugged.

‘Suit yourself.’

As Monty and Jasper came over, engaging Raven and Octavia in the finer points of food Lexa leant down slightly to Clarke’s ear.

‘You should eat something Clarke.’

Clarke shrugged her off.

‘I’m fine.’

‘Alright guys,’ declared Bellamy, walking over. 12 days to go until we go on tour and this is our first promo shoot. Let’s do this.’

The group walked over to photo area, Monty and Jasper hanging back by the snack table waving gleefully. Raven flipped them off.

The next three hours were spent being prodded and poked by make-up artists and lighting designers; dressed like dolls in set clothing and posed like mannequins. Smile’s plastered on, happiness squeezed out. Clarke was convinced she was being tortured. The others similarly took no pleasure in the activity and Clarke took great joy in watching Lexa visibly restrain herself from snapping a poor wardrobe assistant’s wrist as they touched her.

At least she was with friends, she reasoned, as they joked as much as they could to alleviate the boredom and general forced air of fun around a very long shoot. Clarke tried to keep smiling. It was easier with Lexa around, protectively hovering: slightly annoying but definitely reassuring. She seemed to sense it was what Clarke needed right now.

Finally they were done. It was 5 in the afternoon and they were all tired as they pulled themselves out off the clothes they had been given, eager to get back into what they were comfortable in.

They thanked the crew and left swiftly, Raven grabbing a few cookies on the way out. It was dark out.

‘Ugh that was brutal,’ complained Octavia.

‘I know. I think tomorrow we have an interview but then we’re free until Saturday.’

‘Great Bell. Interviews. Ugh.’

‘At least we don’t have to dress up and if the guy’s good, we can chill.’

‘So glad we don’t have to do that kind of shit.’

‘Lucky you Jasper I hate you,’ glared Raven, taking an angry bite out of her cookie.

‘I’m going to head back guys. It’s been a long day.’

‘Ditto.’

‘Amen to that; Clarke?’

‘Uh no. No. I was going to have a few drinks first. I need them after today.’

She tried her best attempt at a smile.

‘Oh cool okay; Lexa?’

‘I’ll keep Clarke company.’

Raven raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

‘Suit yourselves. We’ll see you tomorrow yeah? Maybe we can all go out for drinks then?’

‘Totally,’ agreed Monty, ‘and remember guys we’re meeting up with The Reapers this Friday so we should totally go out to party and stuff.’

‘Oh yeah! Clarke you’ll finally get to meet The Reapers!’

‘I know some of there stuff I think but other than that…’

‘Oh you’ll love them. Even Lexa likes them,’ teased Bellamy, which earned him a glare.

‘Well anyway, I’m heading back. We’ll see you guys around.’

The majority of the group headed off saying their goodbyes, leaving Lexa and Clarke standing in the street.

Clarke turned and headed towards the Warehouse. Lexa walked beside her silently.

‘You don’t have to come.’

‘I want to.’

The walk was silent. Arriving at the venue Clarke slid onto a bar stool, Lexa beside her, and ordered a double whiskey. Lexa ordered a beer.

Both sat facing forward.

‘I’m fine Lexa.’

‘I never said you weren’t.’

‘Then stop following me.’

‘I’m not. I’m drinking my drink. And you are a…’ she hesitated, unsure of herself, before continuing, ‘a friend. I’m simply keeping you company.’

Clarke tightened the grip on her glass but said nothing.

Two more double’s later and Lexa was still on her first drink, watching Clarke closely.

‘Clarke.’

‘What?’ she bit out.

‘We should go.’

‘Why? I’m having fun? And you’re not my mother.’

‘Clarke.’

Lexa’s tone was firmer this time.

‘Go Lexa. I’m fine.’

Lexa sighed.

‘No you’re not. Come with me.’

‘No. Fuck off Lexa. I don’t need you. I’m fine here, drinking my drink and watching the world go by.’

‘Clarke. You can’t drown your problems in alcohol.’

‘Who said I’m drowning? What are you, my therapist?’

‘No Clarke, I’m your friend. You need to come with me.’

‘No. I’m fine. I’ve had a _shit_ day Lexa so I’m here, drinking a few drinks to calm myself before heading back.’

‘I think three double whiskeys is quite excessive.’

‘And why the fuck would you care?’ Clarke spat out harshly.

Lexa remained silent, eyes burning with anger and…hurt? But she said nothing.

‘Go Lexa.’

Lexa looked down at her glass, before standing up and complying, leaving money for her drink.

As she passed through the crowd and reached the door she asked a favour of the doorman, who recognized her immediately.

‘Watch her,’ she gestured to Clarke through the crowd, ‘make sure she gets a cab back and pay for her tab and anything else with this.’

He nodded in assent and took the money offered to him before Lexa made her way into the cold. She was angry and she was worried but pushed it aside as she headed back home.

Inside The Warehouse Clarke sighed, forcing back tears as she downed another glass.


	6. I Will Be Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can probably easily guess the soundtrack to this chapter. 
> 
> If you think there'll be more great tunes littering this fic you are absolutely correct. 
> 
> Happy Easter to all those who celebrate it. To those who don't: I hope your Sunday is a pleasant one.

The rest of the week passed in a blur for Clarke, interviews all melding into one as she kept herself exhausted under the watchful gaze of Lexa. They had barely spoken since that night. Clarke felt guilty; she knew it was her fault but couldn’t find the strength to apologize.

She was alone and it was her own fault, so she practiced all day and drank all night to keep herself busy, painting when she could scenes of red and dark blue and sometimes she sketched Lexa softly in her pad when she wasn’t consumed with her own melancholia.

She always scribbled them out.

Suddenly the living arrangements became awkward as Clarke did everything to avoid talking to Lexa. Talking to anyone. Lexa was always looking at her with that gaze and she felt like it could see right through her and she squirmed as she smiled. Lexa knew. Lexa had seen her vulnerable and weak and she knew and it made Clarke squirm.

At least she hadn’t said anything to the others.

Lexa respected the distance but kept a watchful eye all the same. Clarke would almost find it irritating if she weren’t so grateful: so selfishly grateful. She couldn’t begin to apologise for her actions but at least Lexa was still there, in some capacity.

Lexa addressed her sparingly. Clarke would almost believe she was being given the cold shoulder if it were not for the extra portions of food left in the fridge, or the concerned look in her eyes when she caught her looking her way. Not that she did so often: Lexa was the black hole in the room. Keep a distance, don’t look it in the eye, don’t directly address it and pretend it doesn’t exist. Ignore its existence entirely.

This proved harder than expected. Clarke felt those eyes boring into her, silently asking her if she was okay. Sometimes she would send a small smile Lexa’s way meant to reassure, though she was certain it looked more like a grimace. She thought it might be some form of apology, one Lexa might accept.

Lexa did. Clarke didn’t need to apologise because Lexa needed none. She watched Clarke because she seemed so close to breaking down: she didn’t need an apology she needed to help. Which was strange because her loyalty was not easily bought and yet Clarke seemed to have earned it within a month.

She had an unfettered need to protect the girl, to ensure her safety, to be certain that she was…happy.

Happy.

Lexa didn’t do happy. But Clarke’s happiness was paramount.

So she watched her, made sure she had food and got home safely and waited. Lexa was patient. She would wait until Clarke was ready to resume their…friendship. She didn’t have to talk, Lexa didn’t do talking and in fact it might make things easier, but Clarke was under her wing whether she knew it or not and she was willing to wait, watching silent as Clarke battled her own loneliness.

A loneliness she recognised as her own.

 

* * *

 

 

‘You two are going to have to talk things through some time Lex,’ remarked Octavia, regarding her hand of cards briefly before picking one down and laying it down flat.

‘7.’

‘Bullshit.’

Octavia flipped the card.

‘Nope. Take them Jasper.’

Jasper pulled the pile of cards towards him, assimilating them into his existing hand as he spoke.

‘She’s right. I don’t know what happened but Clarke is definitely not okay and you keep eying her warily.’

Jasper put down a card.

’10.’

‘Two 9’s,’ Raven confidently put down her cards, ‘for reals Lex, just talk to her. What did I say about communication in relationships?’

Lexa shot her a glare.

‘8.’

Lexa slammed down her card, making her point.

‘It’s no use being a child Lex,’ pointed out Raven, ‘that’s not going to change the fact that you are going to have to talk to her.’

‘If you’ve all noticed something’s wrong then why haven’t you spoken to her? Asked her if she’s okay?’ Lexa argued, gripping her cards tightly.

She was angry now: if they had all noticed why hadn’t they said anything? Why wasn’t anyone doing anything to help Clarke?

‘Don’t look at us like that Lexa,’ calmed Bellamy, sliding out his chosen cards, ‘two 8’s- whatever happened, it was between you two.’

‘We’re not in a fucking _relationship_ Bellamy,’ spat out Lexa, fuming.

‘Never said you were, but you know the most about what has happened and are closest with her. We,’ he gestured to the group, ‘thought it best if we leave it between the two of you.’

Lexa was growing more frustrated by the second, partly because this was ridiculous and out of order, partly because he absolutely had a point.

‘9’

‘Bullshit Monty,’ challenged Raven. Monty frowned and pulled the pile towards himself. Raven then addressed Lexa:

‘Look Lex, it would’a probably made things worse if we got ourselves involved and made it known that we knew something was wrong anyway. Just talk to her.’

‘Two 9’s,’ interjected Monty.

Lexa frowned.

’10-Lex, just go down to your room and talk to her. Please. It would make her feel better and she needs it. We’ve noticed. We all have and we don’t like it. Something’s up and you know better than all of us.’

Lexa looked up at Octavia.

‘O.’ she began, ‘you know I’m not good at this type of thing.’

Octavia smirked.

‘You’re better at it than you think Lex. We wouldn’t be sending you up there if we didn’t think so.’

‘Yeah Lex. Even not speaking to her you’re a better friend than any of us,’ pointed out Monty.

Lexa looked down at her cards frowning. She didn’t like it, but they were right. She should talk to Clarke, brooding in the apartment alone. Lexa knew she needed to get her out: it took the group in front of her to get her to see that. She would make Clarke see. She had to try.

Lexa placed the cards face down on the table in front of her and stood up, everyone’s gaze following her movements.

She left the room without a word.

‘She’s so broody.’

‘They’re perfect for each other,’ agreed Raven, sharing a look with Octavia.

‘Careful guys, you’re playing with fire.’

‘Oh shush Bell you’re spoiling our fun.’

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa stood awkwardly outside the door.

Outside the door to her own apartment, she reminded herself.

Fuck it.

Lexa pushed open her own door and strode into the apartment in a manner far more confident than she felt.

The living space was empty.

Great: wasted bravado. Now she just felt awkward.

In her own apartment.

Again.

Lexa sighed softly before taking a deep breath and heading towards the closed door of Clarke’s room. She knocked softly.

‘Clarke?’ she ventured.

There was no response, but she heard slight shuffling.

‘Clarke.’

Still there was nothing.

‘Clarke…I don’t want to come in uninvited but I will if I think you’re eating all the ice cream.’

There was a slight pause and a sniffle.

‘I’m not,’ was the weak response. Lexa sighed again, relieved Clarke was now responding.

‘May I come in?’

‘Why?’

‘I want to speak to you.’

‘’bout what?’

Lexa sighed once more. Clarke was exasperating, really.

‘You.’

Clarke didn’t have a response for that one and Lexa stood in silence, waiting for some form of answer.

‘Come in then.’

Lexa obliged, slowly pushing open the door and slipping through the gap before closing it quietly and facing the room. There was a bundle of duvet on the bed, presumably Clarke, bunched up in a cocoon-like fashion. Lexa perched on the end of the bed.

‘Clarke.’

‘What?’

Lexa felt more uncomfortable talking to a pile of blankets than the floor so chose to keep her head down and eyes forward, her hands absentmindedly twisting together as she worked out what to say.

‘I...we want you to be happy Clarke.’

There was no answer, so Lexa just kept going.

‘All of us. They’ve noticed something’s wrong. I’ve noticed and…things got worse after I left you at the bar that night. I…If it was my fault, I apologise, but…we…I…don’t want to see you in such…loneliness. I’m not asking you to talk about it, or…even tell me what’s wrong, what’s made you withdraw in fact I’d probably feel more comfortable if you didn’t because I’m really bad at this as you can tell and the others sent me down here because they thought I could help but they’ve clearly had too much to drink because honestly I’m really bad at this okay?’

She was rambling, and in her concentration didn’t notice Clarke’s head peeking out from her duvet-nest.

‘But…’ she sighed, ‘we just want to know if you’re okay. I want to know if…we’re okay and that…we’re here for you and stuff. Even if it’s…your hamster died or something…we don’t really care we just…I just…prefer it when you’re okay. When you’re more than okay. Happy.’

Lexa trailed off, hands wringing each other eyes fixed forward. Suddenly she felt a weight on her back and arms that gripped her torso tightly. She stiffened but Clarke paid no mind.

They stayed like that for a few minutes. Clarke wanted to say so much: to say how sorry she was, that she wasn’t okay because her mother had abandoned her and she wasn’t sure she could live up to expectation and she was scared no one would like her but instead all that came out was a weak ‘okay’ as she buried her head further into Lexa’s back, thankful to have a friend back.

Lexa relaxed.

‘Okay.’

 

* * *

 

 

‘Remind me again why we decided to meet them in the busiest club?’ yelled Monty over the roar of TonDC’s music as they threaded their way through the throng of clubbers.

Octavia lead the way through and up the large glass staircase at the back of the dark dance floor, smiling at two burly security guards. They stepped out of the way and she pushed open silver doors to a lavish black and white VIP room complete with personal bar.

There were three occupants to the room. The only woman stood up from her place in a black armchair next to a fake fireplace and walked towards the group. Octavia met her half way.

‘Long time no see.’

‘This better be good.’

‘Always so formal; no wonder you and Lexa get on,’ she teased, earning her a scoff from Lexa.

The woman smiled.

‘Nice to see you too O.’

‘Shut up Anya you know I missed you.’

The two hugged like old friends before stepping back as Anya’s two companions came to stand behind her. Octavia headed straight for the beaming man on her left as they embraced.

‘Lincoln oh my god I’ve missed you so much!’

‘And I you.’

He smiled affectionately.

Jasper nudged Monty and the two shared a knowing grin as the band headed forward to join in on introductions.

Anya’s other companion hung back slouched with hands deep in his pockets, perpetual frown on his face. Nonetheless the others greeted him warmly effectively ignoring his apparent distaste.

Clarke remained behind watching the exchanges take place, not yet introduced to her companions. Lexa stood a little in front of her, watching as Anya made her way over.

‘Lexa it’s been a long time.’

Lexa nodded.

‘Anya.’

Anya smiled placing a hand on Lexa’s shoulder and Clarke was sure she saw the hint of warmth at the gesture from Lexa.

Lexa gestured behind her.

‘This is our new member I was telling you about: Clarke Griffin.’

Lexa stepped out of the way and Anya approached an apprehensive Clarke. The woman had presence to rival Lexa’s but radiated an atmosphere far more welcoming.

‘Lexa speaks highly of you Clarke Griffin.’

Lexa ducked her head suddenly very interested in the plush carpet and Clarke smiled softly.

‘She gives me too much credit really.’

‘I’m inclined to disagree Clarke: I have known her for a long time and she is rarely wrong.’

‘You seem close friends,’ agreed Clarke.

‘We have our moments. Come, I’ll introduce you to the others and then we’ll talk business.’

Anya turned and led Clarke to where the most of the group was now sat.

‘Time for introductions: the guy Octavia’s strewn over? That’s Lincoln, childhood friend and bassist.’

At the mention of his name Lincoln shot Clarke a friendly smile and offered her a wave. She grinned in return.

‘And that guy over there stuck in his teenage angst is Murphy, unfortunately one of the best drummers I know.’

Murphy didn’t even acknowledge Clarke, too busy in a heated discussion with Bellamy no doubt over something mundane. Anya gave her an encouraging look.

‘Don’t worry he doesn’t bite, he just doesn’t like people; here take a seat.’

Clarke sat down on a two-person couch as Anya occupied the armchair next to her, reaching for her drink.

‘So we’re The Reapers in case you didn’t know and hopefully, we’ll be touring with you.’

Clarke nodded.

‘Yeah I know: I listen to some of your stuff. It’s pretty awesome.’

‘Thank you.’

Lexa returned and sat down softly next to Clarke, offering her a beer.

‘Thanks.’

‘No problem.’

Anya smiled before addressing the group.

‘Okay I trust we’ve all had the tearful reunions? We’ve business to discuss.’

‘What business A. we all know we’re going to tour with them,’ interjected Murphy.

Anya shot him a look but didn’t dispute.

‘You might have a point,’ she conceded, ‘but there are a few specifics I want to affirm before the party gets underway.’

‘Shoot away,’ encouraged Raven speaking for her band.

‘Venues, dates, countries and label.’

‘World Tour: first date Madison Garden then Europe, Australia and North America. South America is still under debate.’

‘Okay then. That’s quite loaded; didn’t you just get back?’

‘Yes,’ supplied Lexa, placing enough bitterness in the word for the entire group.

Anya nodded in understanding.

‘I see. Well that brings us nicely to the next item on the list: the label. What do they want?’

‘They want nothing from you. I made sure of that after some…haggling,’ assured Lexa. Clarke smirked into her bottle trying to picture exactly what sort of ‘haggling’ Lexa was talking about.

Anya smiled.

‘Then we have no more questions: of course we’ll tour with you. We can work out the finer points later, but for now I think we should enjoy this reunion.’

‘Thanks for the permission to have fun,’ muttered Murphy, taking a swig from his bottle.

‘You’re welcome,’ shot back Anya.

‘You got any music?’

‘Surround sound system: go check out the CD’s Jasper. Or it might be iTunes I’m not sure.’

‘Don’t worry Monty and I have totally got this.’

The two shot up and sped over to the opposite corner of the room chattering excitedly.

‘Drinks are all free too: I pulled a deal with Indra the owner. Good thing she likes our music.’

Lincoln laughed, prompting Octavia to grin too.

‘She never could say no to you A.’

‘Or Lexa for that matter.’

‘What can I say I can be charming,’ she deadpanned as the group laughed.

‘Excuse us while we’re blown away with you _charm_ Lex,’ joked Raven.

Clarke studied Lexa from the corner of her eye, features soft: she thought Lexa was charming in…in a very Lexa kind of way.

Whatever the case Lexa was unbothered by the teasing, happy to sit back and drink as the group joked and Jasper placed on some classic hits.

‘80s power ballads are you serious? Who put the nerds in charge of the music?’

‘You’re just jealous Murphy.’

‘Yeah, we all know you wanna get up and ‘turrnnn arounnnddd’’

‘Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and I’m scared of falling apart!’ sung back the group, laughing at Murphy as Bonnie Tyler serenaded them all. Clarke wasn’t sure but she swore Lexa had been mouthing along. She nudged the girl with her elbow who spun around to face her immediately, scanning her up and down with her eyes.

‘Do you need another drink?’

‘No no, just wondered why you never told me you were a Bonnie Tyler fan,’ teased Clarke, watching as Lexa suddenly grew a little sheepish and just a tiny bit embarrassed.

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

‘Of course. Only, if you’d told me I would have played my own power ballad collection.’

Lexa looked away.

‘I’m fine.’

‘Are you sure? Bon Jovi…Journey…probably some Human League…pretty sure I’ve got Kate Bush in there somewhere…’

Lexa muttered something under her breath.

‘What?’

She turned to face Clarke.

‘Wuthering Heights is the best thing to happen to music since the synth.’

Clarke let out a hearty laugh causing the others to look her way.

‘Did Lexa just crack a joke?’ questioned Raven in slight disbelief.

‘If she did I want to hear it because it sounds fucking hilarious,’ Octavia demanded, cuddled under Lincoln’s protective arm.

Clarke for her part was trying to regain composure.

‘I’m sorry I just…she just…’

Lexa shot her a sharp look setting Clarke off again.

‘Okay okay I promise.’

Lexa smiled softly, watching as Clarke calmed herself down.

‘Seriously Griffin you can’t not say.’

‘All I can say…’ she looked at Lexa who was eying her wearily, ‘you know what I can’t oh my god no okay just ‘the synth’ just ‘the synth.’’

The others shared a look.

‘The synth?’

Clarke nodded seriously.

‘Very underrated and should be used more often.’

It was Lexa’s turn to stifle a laugh.

‘Lexa wants us to use synth? Are you kidding? Lexa and synth?’

Clarke smirked as Lexa shook next to her. Clark dared not look her way lest she too broke down in fits of laughter once more.

‘Absolutely I think it’s an excellent idea.’

‘You are joking.’

‘Utterly serious.’

‘I’m entirely unsure whether you’re joking or not.’

‘Not joking.’

Raven and Octavia eyed her warily.

‘She’s joking guys,’ interjected Bellamy, at which point Clarke joined Lexa in muffled laughter.

The others watched as the two shared their moment.

‘I’m so confused.’

‘Ditto to that O.’

‘Let them have their moment,’ calmed Anya the voice of reason, ‘I for one think the synth is an excellent idea.’

‘Not you too please no.’

‘We _use_ the synth O.’ reminded Lincoln, ‘so do you.’

‘I play the _keyboard_ Lincoln and if you dare speak such blasphemy again I will not hesitate to put syrup on your bass strings. Not even Octavia will be able to protect you.’

Lincoln looked down at Octavia for support who merely shrugged.

‘Don’t look at me I can’t help you; you’re on your own.’


	7. Everything That Could Possibly Go Wrong Might Go Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well, look who's finally back. 
> 
> I am sorry this took so long I've been snowed under with numerous other fics and exams and general life shenanigans. I can't promise this is the return of regular updates (if they were ever regular in the first place) but I can promise that I do now have some form of plan for this and where it's going. 
> 
> In the mean time, here's a chapter that I've been writing for literally 3 months on and off. Oops.

The magazine slammed down in front of Clarke as she sat, slowly eating her bowl of fruit.

‘Front page news,’ declared Lexa back from the shop as she went to put away the newly obtained sustenance.

Clarke pulled the magazine towards her.

‘What time were you up?’

‘8ish.’

‘How do you do that? Do you just not get hangovers?’

‘Never.’

Clarke smirked as she flicked through the pages of _Rolling Stone._

‘I’ll hold you to that.’

‘What about you: do you remember last night?’

‘This time I do yes thank you very much,’ replied Clarke proudly.

‘You drink like a fish.’

‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome,’ muttered a bewildered Lexa.

‘Oh god I look disgusting.’

Clarke had found the double page spread of the band where a solo shot of her stood out next to script of the interview.

‘No you don’t.’

‘You haven’t even seen it Lexa I look like a turtle.’

‘I don’t need to see it,’ affirmed Lexa with confidence.

Clarke stared intently at the page, words on the page not even registering as Lexa once again threw out a casual compliment that quite frankly made Clarke’s day.

‘A turtle in leather,’ muttered Clarke once she’d controlled the grin threatening to make its way onto her features, ‘a leather turtle.’

‘Turtles are leather anyway Clarke.’

‘Are they?’

‘Well their skin is leathery.’

‘Doesn’t make them leather.’

‘It might.’

Lexa stood on the opposite side of the kitchen counter taking a sip of the coffee she had just poured herself.

Clarke shook her head before returning to the article.

‘God do we really sound like this?’

‘Pretentious tits? No, they just try to make you sound like you’re spreading a moral message so no one can accuse you of encouraging youth rebellion.’

‘And do we have a moral message?’

‘Yes: to encourage youth rebellion.’

Clarke laughed.

‘I say that lightly, more to encourage expression of self.’

‘Yeah…I guess that’s what the music did for me. Wouldn’t be here otherwise.’

‘Neither,’ uttered Lexa, so softly Clarke barely heard it.

The mood had gone somber: Clarke took it upon herself to lighten it up.

‘So, what’s today?’

‘Nothing actually; it’s Saturday. Your day off from official practice although you’re more than welcome to play.’

‘Wait so…no interviews? No photo-shoots? No 6 hour practice?’

‘No. Free time Clarke: you may do with it what you wish.’

‘Is it weird I don’t know what to do with myself?’

Lexa smiled slightly.

‘Do you have the day off too?’

Lexa nodded.

‘We should do something.’

Lexa raised an eyebrow.

‘If…if you want to that is?’

Lexa set down her mug of coffee gently.

‘What did you have in mind?’

‘Uh…well I hadn’t really got that far.’

Clarke glanced to the window on her left noting the drizzle that trailed it’s way down the pane of glass.

‘It had to rain on my day off.’

Lexa chuckled softly.

‘It’s been snowing for the past week Clarke I don’t think you were ever going to get a good weather day.’

Clarke sighed before walking towards her easel and stool set up in front of the windows.

‘Well then: pajama day it is.’

She sat down and took a deep breath, prepping herself to enter the art zone. As Clarke began Lexa sat on the couch just behind her, book in hand as she shifted to read in Clarke’s peripheral vision.

Lexa couldn’t concentrate, the words seemingly leaving no imprint upon her mind as she read and re-read the same page over and over her attention divided: Clarke’s steady movements with her charcoal, the occasional brush of fingers on paper as she smudged and shaded somehow held more interest to Lexa than her riveting novel.

Clarke was more responsive these days: they hadn’t addressed further what was ailing Clarke but she was improving and the band had noticed the difference. Part of Lexa knew she should find out the source of Clarke’s somber mood; most of her knew that if Clarke wanted to speak, she would.

‘You can stop staring.’

Lexa started.

‘Um.’

Clarke grinned.

‘I don’t like it when people see the unfinished work,’ she explained, gesturing vaguely to her easel.

Lexa hadn’t even been looking at it, hadn’t even seen the lines form but it looked…good.

‘What are you drawing?’

Clarke looked down slightly, fiddling with the charcoal in her hands but didn’t respond.

‘It’s uh…’

‘Show me when you’re finished?’

Clarke’s eyes snapped up, Lexa’s gaze innocent and questioning. Clarke concentrated every mental faculty she had in suppressing the embarrassing rise of heat to her cheeks.

‘I…I don’t usually…yeah,’ she nodded with a little more confidence than she felt, ‘yeah okay. When it’s done.’

She offered a small smile and Lexa nodded her head slightly in understanding, returning to her book.

Clarke’s eyes scanned her profile before she sighed and put down her charcoal, turning slightly to watch the rain fall outside.

‘My…thank you.’

Lexa raised her head watching Clarke carefully.

‘For what?’

‘For…being there. When I was…well, when I was being an utter dick.’

‘You had a good reason.’

‘You don’t know that.’

‘I trust that there was one.’

‘Why? You barely know me and you…and you were all so understanding and…why didn’t you kick me out?’

Lexa paused, watching.

‘Do you want to leave?’

Their voices were soft but filled the space around them with their weight and Lexa registered she feared what Clarke might say, if she was unhappy because she was here in the band. With her.

‘No.’

‘Okay.’

Clarke took a deep breath.

‘Thanks.’

Lexa’s eyes looked anywhere but Clarke.

 

* * *

 

‘Fuck,’ Clarke’s eyes flitted nervously around the huge arena, ‘this place is fucking huge.’

Bellamy slapped her on the back.

‘And they’ll be cheering for you Griffin.’

‘Thanks. That makes me feel so much better.’

‘Relax Clarke,’ soothed Anya, walking past and heading for the stage as the techs worked on setting up the lighting rigs.

‘Relax? There’s not enough alcohol on the planet to make me relax right now. You couldn’t pay me to relax.’

‘Technically we sort of are paying you to relax. Or the people coming are,’ remarked Octavia helpfully, one arm slung around Lincoln’s waist.

‘None of you are helping,’ muttered Clarke, following the group to the stage.

Raven was already there helping to set up the instruments for tech rehearsal and waved a brief hello.

‘You ready Griffin?’

‘No.’

‘Nor was I. Don’t worry, just stick with us and you’ll be flying high I swear.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Shoulda seen Lexa her first time,’ remarked Jasper, checking out Lexa’s guitar rack from a safe distance.

‘Let’s keep my embarrassing stories for another time,’ interrupted the woman, swatting Jasper’s hands away from her very nice Gibson Memphis.

Clarke chuckled.

‘I dunno Lexa I’m sort of intrigued.’

Lexa pointedly avoided Clarke’s eye busying herself with her Memphis, plucking a few strings.

‘Later maybe,’ she muttered and Clarke laughed.

‘There she is!’ cheered Octavia still attached to Lincoln, ‘just be like that on stage.’

‘How?’

‘Imagine everyone naked.’

‘Thanks Murphy,’ deadpanned Clarke, ‘best advice of the day.’

‘Suit yourself. Hey hey Blake off my drums.’

‘You’re snare’s too tight.’

‘I’ll fucking show you too tight get the fuck off.’

‘It’s too tight.’

‘It’s not.’

‘Is.’

Clarke left them to their inane bickering.

‘The Reapers will test first,’ explained Lexa in her ear and Clarke nodded, ‘we can watch or we can go grab something to eat?’

‘Is that okay?’

Lexa chuckled.

‘I’m the boss Clarke yeah it’s okay.’

‘Sure of yourself aren’t you?’

‘Always. Anya,’ called Lexa, ‘we’re gonna go grab something to eat. Back in an hour?’

Anya saluted her understanding and Lexa led the way out through the expansive seating of the venue.

‘Dattteeeee,’ muttered Octavia under her breath.

Lincoln hit her playfully but smiled knowingly all the same.

 

* * *

 

‘You can’t expect me to play there you can’t,’ argued Clarke through a mouthful of burger, ‘it’s huge.’

Lexa nodded.

‘I know but you can do it.’

‘You don’t know that. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ll die. I’ll die and I’ll be remembered as the girl who fucked up on Drain Down’s set and crashed and burned and…and I’ll just die okay?’

Lexa nodded along.

‘Right. But you can do it.’

‘Are you even listening?’

‘No.’

‘Lexa!’

‘Not when you’re speaking crap like that,’ she explained, nicking one of Clarke’s fries, ‘you can do it. We’ll be right up there with you and I’ve always got your back. Just play. Just focus on the playing.’

‘But what if-‘

‘No what if’s. Don’t worry about those. I’ll worry about those, you worry about playing.’

‘But then you’re worrying and then I’ll worry that you’re worrying and-‘

‘Clarke.’

Lexa’s voice cut through her babbling.

‘Stop. Worrying. Eat your burger. Everything will be fine.’

‘Right,’ Clarke nodded slowly, entirely not convinced, ‘fine. Everything will be fine.’

‘Clarke?’

Clarke tensed and Lexa’s brow furrowed, eyes focused on Clarke’s immediate change in demeanor as she quickly placed down her burger, stiff and tense.

‘Clarke?’ asked Lexa softly.

‘Clarke,’ repeated the voice with more enthusiasm this time and Lexa could see Clarke’s small shake of her head, her eyes refusing to meet her own.

‘Do you want to leave Clarke?’ asked Lexa, her voice quiet.

‘It’s my mother,’ offered Clarke in quick explanation before turning to face her visitor.

‘Mom.’

The greeting was cold. Abigail Griffin looked entirely out of place in the fast food joint and Lexa scanned the woman or more accurately, her effect upon her daughter.

Lexa’s jaw tightened.

‘Clarke it is you. I saw you through the window and I thought I’d-‘

‘What are you doing here?’

Abby frowned.

‘To see you of course.’

‘Why?’

‘Clarke…’

‘Why?’

Abby took a step closer and Clarke shot up out of her seat, ready to move away at any second. Lexa remained seated, watching the exchange in silence picking at her luke-warm food.

‘I wanted to see what had happened.’

‘You wanted to convince me to change my mind.’

There was a pause.

‘Yes.’

‘Leave.’

‘Clarke listen-‘

‘Leave. Please.’

Abby took a step forward now very much in Clarke’s personal space and Clarke wanted to back away but found herself frozen, meeting her mother eye to eye.

‘Clarke listen to me. You have to rethink your choices.’

‘Have to?’

‘You’re wasting everything I-‘

‘Am I? Isn’t this better for me?’

‘How is _this_ better for you? Leaving everything I did for you so you can pursue a whim?’

‘It’s not like that it’s not-‘

‘I sacrificed-‘

‘It’s always your sacrifice!’

Clarke was shaking. Lexa could see Clarke shaking, struggling to maintain control in the public venue and Lexa stood up silent and came up behind Clarke.

‘Ms Griffin?’

Abby looked away from her daughter to at last register the other person present.

‘Ah…yes? Please, call me Abby.’

Lexa nodded once.

‘Abby,’ she placed a hesitant hand on Clarke’s back, barely there just grazing the material of her top but Clarke seemed to fall into her touch, ‘may I invite you to an event tonight?’

Abby frowned, eyes flickering between her daughter and this apparent stranger.

‘I…I appreciate the offer but I have some business to attend,’ she politely declined looking pointedly at Clarke and Clarke felt the palm on her back push further into her, could feel Lexa’s strength carefully contained so unlike her own and focused on it.

‘Please. Clarke would like it if you came.’

‘And you are?’

‘A friend.’

‘Lexa…’

‘She should come.’

Clarke said nothing else.

‘And where am I to come?’

It was Clarke’s turn to soothe Lexa at Abigail Griffin’s tone as she felt Lexa’s fingers dig into her back and she leant into it willing Lexa to calm.

‘Madison Square Garden. Door’s open at 7. Here,’ Lexa pulled out her phone and fiddled around until she found what she was looking for, ‘your booking reference. Clarke can give you my number. Consider it a gift Ms. Griffin.’

‘I…’

‘We hope to see you there.’

Lexa made to leave and Clarke followed, her hand still guiding Clarke as they left the slightly confused Abby alone.

Clarke relaxed as the outside air hit but Lexa kept her hold upon the girl leading her to a nearby bench.

They sat in silence, Lexa’s hands folded in her lap as she watched Clarke from the corner of her eye.

‘You okay?’ ventured Lexa.

Clarke nodded.

‘Yeah.’

‘Do you…’

‘Not really.’

‘Okay.’

‘Yeah.’

Lexa sat with Clarke knowing the benefit of company. Clarke would have talked about it but there was too much of everything and she had to play. She had to play.

‘Clarke,’ began Lexa softly, ‘Anya’s done.’

Clarke nodded.

‘Let’s go.’

Lexa let Clarke lead the way.

 

* * *

 

Tech rehearsal went without hiccup and Clarke was prepping backstage with the others as they bickered between themselves, warming up their voices and fingers.

‘How long?’

‘Stop asking Clarke,’ chided Octavia lightly, ‘it’ll start when these nerds leave.’

‘Right.’

‘Relax Clarke,’ soothed Anya from a nearby sofa, ‘there is no reason to be nervous.’

‘Right.’

Anya chuckled.

‘You don’t look convinced.’

‘No.’

‘Seriously. _Relax_ Griffin. At least Jasper and Monty’ll cheer from the merch stand if no one else will.’

‘Thanks Bell I’m feeling better already.’

Clarke walked over and sunk down onto the couch next to Octavia and Lincoln, fingers tapping restlessly at her thigh running through scales and notes and everything she needed to know.

The door to the dressing room opened.

‘We’re ready when you are. Full house tonight and some VIPs in the wings. Do you want us to let them through now?’

‘No wait until they’re on stage,’ commanded Lexa as she stood up, leading the tech guy out of the room muttering a question to him under her breath that Clarke strained and failed to hear.

The Reapers stood up.

‘Right. We’ll see you guys on the other side,’ remarked Anya, leading her band out of the room and the tapping on Clarke’s knee grew more insistent.

‘Hey,’ Raven slid in next to Clarke, ‘you sure you’re okay?’

‘Just nerves.’

‘Right. But this is worse.’

‘Yeah you’ve never been this bad before Clarke,’ muttered Octavia with slight concern.

‘Well it is Madison Square Garden guys,’ tried Clarke.

‘Yeah. And you will be fine. We chose you for a reason Clarke: you’ve seen how picky Lexa is she wouldn’t have said yes if she didn’t trust in your abilities.’

Clarke looked at Octavia, who nodded in encouragement.

‘Yeah. You know,’ continued Raven, taking over from Octavia, ‘that day? We weren’t expecting to find anyone. We were going to have to search for months and it would’ve spelled disaster but we would have done it because of Lexa. She’s always wanted to create the best music.’

‘No one’s as dedicated as Lexa to this.’

‘Right, and she obviously saw something in you. We were as surprised as you but you know what? She made a great choice Clarke. You would be my first choice too.’

‘Whatever’s got you nervous Griffin isn’t worth it. You’re gonna nail it. Trust me. I’m more likely to fall off the stage than you are to end in complete disaster,’ Clarke let out a laugh at that, ‘and remember, we’ve totally got your back.’

‘Not just them,’ chimed in Bellamy, ‘me too. Even Jasper and Monty down selling merch and Lexa goes without saying.’

‘What did I do this time?’ asked Lexa, returning from her adventure hands full of drinks that she chucked to her band mates.

Clarke caught hers deftly as Lexa leant against a wall. The slight echoes of instruments began to sound in the room and Clarke’s eyes scanned searching for the source.

‘The Reapers have begun,’ supplied Bellamy.

‘Never seen them live,’ muttered Clarke.

‘Well then what are you doing?’

Clarke turned to Octavia.

‘What?’

‘You are literally backstage at a Reaper’s concert and you’re sat in this room. Go and see them live!’

‘I can do that?’

‘Clarke of course you can,’ explained Lexa softly.

Raven caught Lexa’s eye and indicated with her head to the door. She received a raised eyebrow in response and sighed before turning to Clarke.

‘Lexa will show you the way.’

‘I will?’

Raven continued as if she hadn’t heard.

‘And you can watch ‘em from the sidelines. VIP privilege.’

‘Are you…’ Clarke looked at Lexa, ‘are you sure?’

Lexa stood up straight.

‘Come on.’

Lexa led the way as Clarke hesistantly followed after some heavy encouragement from the girls around her.

‘You two are ridiculous,’ chided Bellamy when Clarke and Lexa were out of earshot.

‘What? She wanted to see The Reapers play,’ protested Octavia in innocence.

 

* * *

 

‘Holy shit.’

They stood in the shadows at the side of the stage, just out of sight of the other VIP guests Clarke leaning forward to get a better look barely heard over the roar of the music.

Lexa stood to her right watching the set stoically.

‘Thanks Lexa.’

Lexa shrugged.

‘No problem. You can do this anytime Clarke: you’re part of the band now.’

‘I know. It’s just…weird. I never thought I’d ever be here. Stuff like this…it doesn’t happen to people like me.’

‘Stuff like what?’

‘This crazy stuff. I’m in a band Lexa, one of the top in the world like it’s nothing. And you’re all so nice and some of the greatest friends I’m ever gonna have. It’s a little…’

‘Overwhelming.’

‘Yeah. Like I shouldn’t be here.’

‘They were right.’

Clarke turned to look at Lexa who kept her eyes firmly on the set.

‘Who were?’

‘The others. I chose you because you’re the best. You had something none of the others had: your playing was different.’

‘Different?’

‘In a good way.’

‘Right.’

Lexa turned to leave.

‘Where are you going?’

‘I have things to sort before our set. I’ll see you before we go on.’

‘Oh. Do you need any help?’

‘No stay here Clarke. Enjoy this,’ Lexa paused, ‘your mother. She’s in the VIP crowd.’

Clarke’s eyes shot to the opposite side of the stage and if possible she tried to shrink further into the shadows.

‘She’ll be watching. I’ve invited her backstage after.’

‘Why would you do that?’ hissed Clarke.

Lexa didn’t react, shrugging slightly.

‘Enjoy this. Play well. Speak to her.’

‘Speak to-‘

‘Later. Trust me Clarke Griffin but for now, forget.’

‘How can I forget it’s my mother Lexa after everything and she’s here and-‘

‘I invited her for a reason Clarke,’ soothed Lexa in her infuriatingly level voice before leaving the girl to her thoughts.

As Lexa left Bellamy pulled away from the shadows, walking next to Lexa back to the dressing room.

‘Do you have to be so mysterious?’

‘This is good for her.’

‘And would you have thought so when it was you?’

Lexa stilled and Bellamy turned on her.

‘I’m just saying Lex you’re playing a dangerous game. I’m not saying you’re wrong but perhaps this isn’t the best way to go about it.’

‘And what would you suggest?’

‘I don’t know.’

Lexa nodded once before brushing past the man.

‘She will understand.’

‘You put an awful lot of trust in Clarke,’ called Bellamy after her retreating figure.

Lexa didn’t acknowledge the statement.


End file.
